Friday, October 28, 2005
"I'm dreaming of a White Halloween, with every Hershey Bar I give out. May your Halloween be happy and white, and may all your pumpkins shine bright." -(Sung to the tune of White Christmas.)
Oh my, the time has come for Halloween carols and snowballs. Scarecrows and cornstalks will stand beside snowmen.
Poor Linus, he'll be sitting out there in that pumpkin patch freezing his tush off waiting for the Great Pumpkin who hopped a plane for Aruba. There are no flies on G.P., and if there were, they'd be paying rent.
This could be happening in parts of New England this (sic) autumn. Indeed, Londonderry, New Hampshire recieved a fresh batch of 6 inches of snow last night. When the clocks are turned back this week end, those people aren't getting an extra hour of sleep, but rather an extra hour to shovel. I was thinking maybe I lost track of time, but checking my calendar I was assured that it was in fact still October.
"Come on now, it's lovely weather for a hayride together with you..")
Meanwhile, parts of Virginia, Ohio, West Virginia, Pennsylvania and New York also had snow fall in measurable amounts. There are going to be a lot of disappointed children. Their costumes hidden beneath heavy coats, and their gloved hands clutching their plastic pumpkins full of frozen candy, they will be unsure if they should be saying "Trick or Treat," or if they should be singing carols.
"God rest ye merry hob goblins..."
It might be funny to watch, but I'd lay odds it wouldn't be very much fun bobbing for apples in ice water, or playing pin-the-carrot on the snowman! Left waiting outside, the children will be shivering while we adults slip inside for a few glasses of cheer. (Imagine the brats that like to smash everyone's pumpkins getting their propers. They grab one of those frozen-rock-hard babies, hurl it to the ground, only to have it bounce back up and smack them in the face! Imagine them trying to explain to their parents. 'Oh, it was nothing, Dad. You think this is bad, you ought to see the pumpkin!")
"And I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, Happy Halloween to all,the Tooth Fairy comes tonight!"
Curmudgeon responsible for this post: Hale McKay at 8:15 PM