Monday, February 20, 2006

I Present Presidents Precedence

A Presidents Day Special Post

I know, he wasn't President. He qualifies only because he ran against Dubya! What's he pointing at, anyway? Haven't you figured it out? He wants you to pull his finger!!

If you pulled his finger, what do think would happen? What are you afraid of? Click here, if you dare, to find out! (Click either image.)

In honor of Presidents Day K-Tel is introducing The Wind-Up Dubya Toy. Just wind it up and watch it march about in a realistic cathargic manner just like the real thing. It will walk in circles rather than taking the shorter straight line. A recorded voice attempts to pronounce nuclear with seven different authenic versions.

Should you choose to also purchase The Buckshot Cheney Toy, you can accessorize the Dubya Toy with a bullet-proof vest. Every time the Bush Toy walks in his line of fire, the Cheney Toy lets off a volley.

Even the President of the United States had to submit to a pecker check at the grand opening of a Washington D.C. strip club. Rumor has it that he was denied admittance. Apparently he didn't see the sign at the entrance that read: "Must Be This __ Big For Rides." Although he was unarmed, Dick Cheney was thrown out for shooting at one the waitresses.

It was learned that Dubya was given a certificate at the door as he was leaving. Although unconfirmed, the copy at the right is said to be an exact duplicate of the one our President received. He will probably hang it next to all of his military medals.

For those of you who have wondered just who is running things in the White House, I submit this recent picture of Dubya with his father. It has long been theorized that Junior is doing the old man's bidding by invading Iraq. Another suggestion has it that a higher power and more influential forces are at work.

It has been learned that Dubya has been meeting with a film crew over the last several weeks. It seems that a documentary directed by Ken Burns is in the planning stages. The famous film maker is said to be interested in recording the accomplishments of the Bush Presidency.

The director released a statement stating that negotiations are on-going. Because of the busy schedules of the President and his staff, the film crew has been seen taking stills on and about the White House lawn. While Burns wishes to film an accurate account of the Bush's Presidential career, there have been some attempts by the White House staff to put their own spin on the film. It seems they have their own ideas about their place in history.

The film when completed will be produced and released direct to video and DVD and simulcast on PBS on the same day this summer. The official release date is not known at this time. Here is a look at the proposed jacket and promotional poster for the film.

There was also a rumor circulating that Dubya has started committing to paper his memoirs. Your guess is as good as the next person whether he'll be writing it himself, or if George Senior will take up the pen, or even if it may be ghosted by the team of Pinky and the Brain.

What would this masterpiece be titled, I wonder? George, By George ? Here Lies George? It has to have a catchy original title.

Eureka! I have it! It will be called: The Bush Diary: The Pursonel Dieree of Dubya in His Own Write.

Have a happy Presidents Day.



Karen said...

OMG would the MSM love you as press secretary... someone who tells it like it is!!


OldHorsetailSnake said...

Chapter I: How I Learnt to Smirk

Sar said...

Damn, Michael, how the hell do you come up with all of these gems and all in a single post no less?!

The wind up Bush made me laugh so hard my side hurts.

blue said...

happy belated bd, pointmeister!

TMelendez said...

Michael... If you were a stock I would definitely not shave points on you, or sell you short.. you crack me up!

StringMan said...

Dubya always gets treated royally when you're around :)

jipzeecab said...

Seems you never heard Daddy advised Dubya not to go into Iraq but he went anyway..(an old story from back when media thought things were going well)