Sunday, February 19, 2006

No Butts About It

I have decided to take up a cause that's near and dear to Old Hoss ! By his reckoning, finding and displaying butt crack pics will eventually deplete the supply. There will come a day when they will be no more!

Greenpeace will no doubt be up in arms if anything is done to disturb the endangered White Rump Whale or its habitat. It is rumored that this whale took up tennis. (See Below.)

A fourth installment of Tolkien's Middle earth series is in the works. The Lord of the Strings will pick up where the original trilogy ended. Evil witch twins pose a new threat to the battle worn heroes. Budgetary problems have slowed production and publications of the witches' butt cracks will prove more powerful magic than that of the sorcerer.

A certain tennis player will probably have a problem with this crusade. Even if she scores plenty of love on the court, off court she'll get no love if she has to wear underpants beneath her sexy (?) tennis skirt. What a racket she must have had lobbing that tush around, which by the way doubled as a racquet holder.

A new version of Snow White is currently in the planning stages. The producers will have to reconsider some of the gratuitous sex scenes. In this version, movie goers will see what really happened in those seven little beds in that little home of the seven dwarfs. The move should probably be called Snow White's Butt and the Seven Butt Cracks.
....Tricked by the evil Queen into a torrid lesbian session, Snow White is poisoned by a powerful potion. The poison had been earlier rubbed onto what the Queen called her chest apples.
....Laid out nude in a glass coffin, she is discovered by a handsome stud of a Prince by the name of Prince Alarming. He was so named because of an abnormally large part of his anatomy. It is that part of him that brings Snow White out her deep sleep.
....They lived happily ever after, moving into his castle. The dwarfs became servants, providing service when the Prince was away. The story ends with eight butt cracks glistening in the morning sun.

Finally, the message of this blog and the mission of Hoss is for the total elimination of butt crack pictures on the Internet. It could be considered a public service so that you the reader will never have to be subjected to such objectionable images again. The message is a simple one:



OldHorsetailSnake said...

Boy, I don't know. Banning that Snow White butt crack isn't too appealing to me. But I guess to be consistent, it will have to go (on my wall).

Sar said...

My eyes, my eyes!

Thank goodness we have you & Hoss looking out for us. I think.

Karen said...

You crack me up! : )

Fuckkit said...

Got another one for ya if you think you can stomach it...



As always... Rachael said...

OMG that picture from Fukkit is crazy! I was going to comment on your post, whcih was excellenet as usual, but now I'm too shaken!

karma said...

haha i came over from Sar's because i looooved your profile pic. this place is funny!

jules said...

:You crack me up for sure!

StringMan said...

"The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin', or so I am told"

-- from "Big Bottom" by Spinal Tap

Didn't realize you were such an Ass Man, Mike :)