Monday, April 17, 2006

The Faking of a President

What Makes A President?

Charisma? Connections? Money? Or a phone call?

It all started with a fateful phone call. {Ring-Ring!} "Hello? George Bush speaking." {Muffled voice.} "This your Father! How many times have I told you, I'm George Bush! You're supposed to answer Geoge W. Bush, knuclehead!"
...."Daddy? There must be a bad connection. I can hardly hear you." {Much louder muffled voice.} "Turn the $#*%!+#% hand set around you, moron!" { Airhorn blast.} "You hear that? Get your head outa Laura's underwear."
...."Heh-heh, sorry Daddy. Somebody keeps hanging it up wrong."
...."Damnation! When I get off this phone, I'm gonna punch Barbara's lights out! There is no way I could have fathered such an idiot!"
...."Daddy, why are picking on Jeb?" {Airhorn blast.} "Ouch! That hurts! Are you at a Hockey game or somethin'?"
...."Never mind! I've been looking over the financial statements..." {Airhorn.} "Are you trying to bankrupt my oil business?"
...."..But Daddy, you said I could be Prezdent!"
...."No. I said that while you're living in my house, you should make yourself a useful resident! For cripes sake, look what you did to my baseball team!" {Airhorn.}
...."Well ... I ... Uh ... Treated the team to a night out on us."
....{Airhorn.} "Three thousand dollars at the Chicken Ranch? You call that a treat the night before a road trip to the East coast?"
...."Heh-heh ... Well, they did score 5 runs against the Yankees."
...."Yes, they did, didn't they? ... In a four-game series!"
...."Well, that was four more runs than they scored against the Red Sox."
....{Airhorn.} "Listen up good, George! I'm gonna do for you what I did for your brother."
...."You're gonna have me arrested, Daddy?"
...."No, dammit! I'm gonna get you a job. And if you screw it up, then you're on your own."
...."Oh boy, you'll fix it so I can be a Gubnor?"
...."No, not Gubnor! You aren't smart enough to be in a job that important. With your brother's help, you might make a half-assed President."
...."But Daddy, I'm already a Prezdent."
...."Read my lips, son. You're fired!" {Click!}
...."Hello? Hello?"
...."Who was that, George?"
...."Hi, Poopsie-Woopsie. I thought it was my Daddy. But it wasn't. Can you believe it I'm gonna be on telebision!"
...."George, Laugh In was cancelled years ago."
...."Laura, you don't understand...."
...."Well, then why don't you enlighten Mrs. Bush?"
...."Ooh ... You mean that game where we get under the blankets and I use my flashlight...?"
...."George!! So, who was on the phone?"

...."It was ... Donald Trump!"

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Karen said...

Clinton was entertaining... gwb is an embarrassment and an idiot.

Google (miserable failure).

Peter said...

Time you had compulsory voting over there, cos someone has voted him in twice.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Oh, were it that easy.....

Rebecca said...

Very funny!!! ;)
While I don't necessarily jump on the Bush Bashing Bandwagon - that was pretty darn good. ;)

10 rows off the field for yesterdays game my friend. It was awesome....!!!