Saturday, April 15, 2006
One of my Blogroll buddies, the lovely Monty , conjures up an image of a loving mother and a diligent homemaker. You all know the type; all-American, like baseball and apple pie. She's the kind of woman any guy would want to greet him at the door, pull off his shoes, and to fetch him a beer.
When you watch TV Land or Nick at Night you will be reminded of her by the likes of Harriet Nelson, and June Cleaver. Your chest, among other things, will swell with pride as you take in her shape which brings to mind Jeannie and Seven of Nine.
Okay, as you who know her can attest, I've exaggerated a bit. Instead of fetching your beer, she will be in the kitchen chug-a-lugging it. More than likely she'd be throwing the shoes when she pulls them off. Oh, there's some Harriet and June, but a little Rosanne will be rolled into the same package. Okay, okay. So what if they are Table Talk pies?
No matter how wonderful one can be, there is always the chance that one incident can taint a wholesome image. In her defense, she did come forth and admit to the affair. By clicking on the link above, you can read about the whole sordid incident.
It seems she was in a rush to pick up something at the store and neglected to put on a certain article of clothing. Unfortunately it was a very windy day. A sudden gust blew up her skirt thus making visible the southern exposures of her charms. To make matters worse, she was loaded down with bundles. Until she got to her car, her skirt was as free as Old Glory on a nearby flagpole.
At first she wasn't too concerned, thinking "So what if they see her underpants?" That was until she remembered she wasn't wearing any. To quote the otherwise unflappable Monty, she said, "Shit!"
The story would have ended there, Monty with a red faced moment and her readers sharing a chuckle, had it not been for a certain security guard. It seems that the Rent-A-Cop had access to the security cameras that monitor the property, including the parking lot. In a mere two hours after the "Scatter Rug Affair," the still photo, above left, was up for auction at e-Bay.
Because this a family-friendly Blog, I am posting the least revealing of a dozen or so photos that are available to the highest bidder. This posting is actually a public service notice to all you readers who chance upon my Blog. I am urging all of you not to go to e-Bay and to ask you to not bid on any of these pictures. Monty is a friend and a wonderful person. I don't want to see these pictures all over the internet. So help me to preserve her honor and integrity!
Besides, I am currently the high bidder on the whole lot of them!
(Disclaimer: This posting is really just a parody. I am just poking fun at Monty. She is a funny lady and a nice person. If you don't know her, stop by her Blog from time to time. You'll like her too.)
Curmudgeon responsible for this post: Hale McKay at 10:22 PM