Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Fiat Lux

Fiat Lux: Latin - "Let There Be Light"

It's been over three hours and I am having a helluva time on Blogger this evening. Forgive me if I don't get to the Blogs on my Blogroll. If I can get them open to read, I cannot get the comments windows to open. I couldn't even open the comments on my own Blog.

It has been a seemingly endless vigil, watching that black bar creeping at a snail's pace at the bottom of my screen. Have you ever tried to put your cursor, or worse yet, your finger on that bar in an attempt to make it move faster? Me neither too!

While I was being frustrated at every turn, I decided to think about what I might not get to post tonight. Hmm..a post title maybe: "The Post That Never Was?" Some of you may recognize the "Uncle Sam" above as an animation from the Monty Python's Flying Circus TV show. Earlier I had the television on the History Channel to check out a documentary about George Washington. It was interesting how many blunders and bluffs the Commander of our Colonial forces survived to defeat the British.

I never realized, or more accurately, never gave a second thought to how close our country came to losing the Revolutionary War. We could very easily be drinking tea, eating scones, and be under the rule of the world's richest welfare family. The Civil War could have gone the other way also. Just think, "Dixie" could have been our National Anthem. What if the Axis had prevailed in WWII? What if the picture above featured Col. Sanders in front of a Confederate Flag? What if ...

I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. Yes, our lives could be very much different if any one of the numerous events of history had gone the other way. True enough, but those shifts of the fates would seem trivial to us now, when compared to some other historical occurrences. Some of the following may be too intense and much too disturbing for you to imagine. Just remember ... Keep repeating to yourself ... It's Only a Blog.

Think about these. Run them through your analytical minds as I have done. Take some Milk of Magnesia to settle your stomach. Have a stiff drink. If you are prone to nightmares, go to sleep with a night light on tonight.

What if Wiley Coyote ever caught the Roadrunner? What if the rabbit got his Trix? Be still my heart, if Wrangler Jane had won Cpt. Parmeter's heart! I shudder to think what kind of world this would be if Rhoda never made it to the church. What if Dr. Richard KImball was still out there looking for the one-armed man? (Maybe that's who O.J. Simpson would be looking for too!) What if the Minnow never left port and thus missed the storm?

Excruciating, isn't it? What if Joanie had told Chachi to stick it? What if Lisa Douglas had talked her husband into staying in Manhattan? Close your eyes on this one, if you must, but what if Johnny had chosen Joan Rivers instead of Jay Leno? Imagine the setback NASA would have suffered if Ralph really did knock Alice to the moon! What if someone stole Mr. Rogers' cardigan out of that closet?

I had to take a break from those horrific thoughts for a few minutes. It took forever to get the pic at the right to download. It does, however, give you a chance to control the hyperventilation. Sorry about this post for those of you with weak hearts. I have to admit that my hands have been shaking all the while I've been trying to type this.

What if Jack Tripper had had a "menage a quatro" with the girls? Suppose Sammy Davis, Jr. would've slipped Archie the tongue! What if Johnny Yuma had enlisted in the Union Army? What if John Beresford Tipton III had gone bankrupt?

If all of those things had happened, just how different would your life be? I think the difference would be dramatic, if not traumatic, to most of us. Consider that those programs' viewing audiences would have been quite different. The advertising agencies would have pulled their commercials, therefore having an indirect positive influence on our economy. You see, by not paying the networks for those air time minutes, their expenses would have decreased. It would have been a trickle-down effect, whereby the products' retail prices would have been marked down. We, the consumers, would have benefited by having more spending power because of the money saved. Just think, we could have bought our houses and new cars a lot sooner.

It's just your basic economics, readers! Emotionally the different scenarios of those programs would have had a profound impact on our lives, but financially - a boon!

What would we be doing, if Al Gore hadn't invented the Internet? I don't think our hearts can stand the pressure of that one. One thing is certain, if there were no Internet I wouldn't be sitting here typing so much bull shit intersting theories for you to ponder. Thanks Al.

Fiat Lux! It looks like Blogger is back to abnormal normal! (I had to think long and hard whether I should post this and put you through Hell. The hell, I did. It was a no-brainer!) Ciao!



jules said...

I thought I was gonna have to blow up Blogger myself last night!

Miss Cellania said...

I'm glad I escaped blogger, but you never really escape, do you? I gotta keep up with tons of friends on blogger.

On the other hand, I didn't accpmplish my escape before I was exiled.

Peter said...

Some of those conjectures hardly bear thinking about Mike, tea and scones, Dixie and the like.

Marti said...

Is it just coincidence that Blogger goes blooie on 06 06 06?



Karen said...

Blogger was a *booger* yesterday and still is today!


aka_monty said...

Al Gore TOTALLY invented the internet, and if you don't believe it you're just a poopie head.