One Day at the Senior Center

Possibly you have fallen asleep watching TV because there isn't much on of interest to you.
....Such was the case at the Hopewell Senior Center the night of July the fourth. Several of the elders managed to fall asleep while watching the televised Boston Pops and fireworks program that evening. It seems that they were not bored with Keith Lockhart's directing or the brilliant pyrotechnic displays. They were lulled into near catatonic states by the performance of Aerosmith members Steven Tyler and Joe Perry.
....It seems that the pair, nearly geriatric themselves, did not fit well with the traditional 4th of July concerts of the past in the eyes of our senior citizens. Indeed, only fans of of Heavy Metal music and particularly fans of Aerosmith, had anything positive to say about the event.
....As for myself, I can take or leave Aerosmith, but I have to agree that they belonged in that concert like pork at a Bar Mitzvah. The recreation room at the center was abuzz all morning about the indignity they felt for their beloved Boston Pops. How dare they soil the sanctity of such a venerable tradition? Surely Arthur Fiedler was rolling over in his grave. How could Keith Lockhart drag the program through the muck like that?
....By the time the center's pool was opened, the furor of the topic finally abated. I am not one to belittle our senior citizens, but I had to stifle a chuckle or two as I was passing by a parade of pool goers. The attire on display was reminiscent of that worn by circus clowns.
....Don't get me wrong, I love the elderly and it is not lost on me that I am fast approaching the time that I earn that sobriquet myself. I work with and for the elderly, it is my job. Having said that, I often see those light hearted and comical moments of their lives.
....Sometimes I have to play detective for them. I have "found" their missing eyeglasses for them by removing them from the tops of their heads. I have found their dentures in the refrigerator.
....I have served as a "repairman" on a few occasions. I have "fixed" broken TV remotes by removing them from the cordless phone base and exchanging them for the phone that wouldn't change the channels.
....I have removed "toast" from a VCR after finding "Casablanca" cooking in a toaster oven. That's not the only time I have been a makeshift "dietician." I have had to demonstrate the difference between Polident and mayonnaise and which tastes better on a turkey sandwich. I've had to explain that "Preparation H" was not a brand name of beef bouillon.
....I manage to collect quite a few humorous anecdotes from my dealings with the elderly, and the laughter is at their expense I'm afraid. I post them here sometimes, not to poke fun at them, but to celebrate their longivity and to show my respect. The next time you enter a room and forgot why you were there, try to remember your elders. You'll be one yourself someday. If you Blog, post the funny and sad things that happen to you. You never know when someone else will be more than glad to post them. Beat them to the punch.
....Just remember the lady who was asked if she believed in the Hereafter. "Sure I do. I often get into the kitchen and ask myself what did I come here after."
....Hopefully I won't forget to blog after.....

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