Saturday, October 14, 2006

Only If You Dare...

Cumin Soon

I'd like to take this time to announce that I have ventured into the realm of suspense once again. With Halloween not far off, I thought it would be appropriate to spin a yarn about that special night that occurs on the 31st of every October.

The tale will be published in three parts, the first of which will appear on Tuesday, October 17. Part two will be posted the following Tuesday, the 24th. Finally, the third and final installment will be available for your reading pleasure on Tuesday, October the 31st, which just happens to be Halloween.
The name of this tale? Helloween

To lighten the suspense, how about a little Halloween humor?

So two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender.
...."I'll jave a glass of blood," said the first one.
...."And I'll have a glass of plasma," said the other.
...."Okay," replied the bartender. "That'll be one blood and one blood lite."
(It's okay to laugh!)

So, this skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop."
(I can see that you are laughing in the aisles!)

Top Ten Reasons Trick-or-Treating Is Better Than Sex

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
-9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
-8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
-7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
-6. The person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else.
-5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.
-4. If you wear a Batman mask and cape, no one thinks you're kinky.
-3. It doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
-2. There is less guilt the next morning.
.......And the # 1 reason Trick-or-Treating is better than sex:
-1. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door.

Madam, I'm Adam

A guy goes to a costume shop and says to the girl behind the counter, "I'm going to a costume party as Adam and I need a fig leaf."
....The girl goes out back and comes back with a fig leaf.
....He says, "That's not big enough!"
....She returns with a bigger fig leaf.
....He says, "Still not big enough!"
....Finally she returns with a huge fig leaf.
....Once again he says, "Still not big enough!"
....She says to the guy, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"

Peter, you will notice that I saved the best one for last!



jules said...

I'm groaning at the jokes. (Okay, well actually snickering a little)And NOTHING is better than sex. Nothing.

Carolyn said...

I like those thoughts on trick-r-treating ;D

Hey, lookin' forward to your story!

Christina said...


Fred said...

What a great Top Ten list. I'll be sure to tell a few of those to The Missus - she'll love them.

peg said...

you just keep getting more entertaining all the time! mwahahahah!!

Jack K. said...

Gas pump? What a dreamer!


Peter said...

Congratulations Mike, a great post.

Doug Bagley said...

I'm laughing on the inside. Great stuff

aka_monty said...

HAHA! I posted the trick-or-treat thing last year...and it's still funny as hell. ;)