Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Anti-Bush Tsunami

Stench Of Elephant Carcasses Litter The Political Landscape

For several hours after the polls closed on November the 2nd, television programming was still being held hostage by political pundits. News anchors, appearing to be in the throes of sexual activity, bumbled, stumbled and mumbled over the constantly changing projections.
....Meanwhile, the ratings numbers for Wheel Of Fortune and Jeopardy were sky-rocketing through the roof. It's not a recent phenomenon either. Syndicated programs on non-network stations have long outdrawn elections coverage. I for one, would have settled for a rerun of Ishtar had it been playing.

....Now that the elections have come and gone, so too have all those political advertisements. Over the last few weeks practically every TV station had breaks filled with campaign ads for one candidate or another.
....I hate to admit it, but I'm looking forward to product commercials! I have actually missed seeing Jarod pitching those Subway sandwiches. I welcome those repetitive car and truck ads. It'll be refreshing to see that four-eyed geek saying into his phone, "Can you hear me now?"
....Will those Madison Avenue types keep me in suspense very long before they reveal the next Miller "Man Law?" Maybe McGuyver will use his credit card to purchase a few things from Wal-Mart to use in a daring escape. That sudden chill in the air ... can it be? Yes! It's the Coors Silver Bullet train!
....How long will I have to wait before I see that shit-eating grin of Smilin' Bob? My libido needs to be called into question when he represents Enzyte? I'll ponder how long I would wait to see a physician if a pill actually gave me an erection lasting four or more hours. Now that's a hard question!
....Ah, but it's between Halloween and Thanksgiving, and you know what that means! Yep, Christmas commercials! Time-Life will be trying to get me to send $29.95 plus S&H for Yo Yo Ma's Christmas album. What music collection would be complete without a Yuletide CD by the master of the pan flute, Zamfir?
....Have you ever noticed that a Rogaine commercial sometimes follows the obligatory hawking of Chia Pets? If you flip the stations, you will see an ad for a nose trimmer, which just might follow a Flomax ad.

(Sigh!) Maybe I should have TiVo-ed those political ads!

Maybe they aren't such super heroes after all!

I think ol' Dubya is going to need more than the Justice League of America and the Avengers if he's looking for support after this election. The political Zoo has just replaced the elephants with donkeys!



Serena Joy said...

Go, donkeys. I'm breathing a sigh of relief that the political ads are now gone, too -- and those extremely annoying automated calls. Ugh!

Peter said...

We get Jarod in Subway Ads here to Mike, but most others that you mention don't get to Oz... sigh.

Jack K. said...


Great posting.

Peter, you aren't missing much. My guess is that you have equally obnoxious TV ads.

Webmiztris said...

oh GAWD, you're right! they're going to start showing the commercial for the Christmas music CD that they've been trying to sell out of since 1980. I'm so SICK of that commercial!

Laina said...

I hate that Smilin' Bob. He disturbs me so much I can't understand why anyone would WANT to have sex with him, erection or no.

As for the elections, witness my happy dance!!!

Steve G said...

I haven't seen any of the great political or adverts here in Germany. Guess I'll have to visit your site to hear about them.

Redneck Nerdboy! said...


Kind of.

Karen said...

don't know what i'd do without the mute button! {grin}