Friday, January 05, 2007

The Right Tool For The Job

Redneck Logic

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
....The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic.
...."What's Logic?" the first redneck asks.
....The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"
...."I sure do."
...."Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.
...."That's real good!" says the redneck.
....The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
....Impressed, the redneck says, "Amazin!"
...."And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
...."That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck is obviously catching on.
...."Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.
...."You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!!"
....The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting.
...."So what classes are ya takin' ?" asks the friend.
...."Math, History, and Logic!" replies the first redneck.
...."What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend.
...."Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.
...."No," his friend replied.
...."You're GAY, ain't ya?"

Hanging In There

I have mixed emotions on the death penalty, and such it is a topic I usually avoid. However, I do feel that the execution of Saddam Hussein was justified.
....Having said that, I received the following pics in an e-mail. I couldn't help myself, but I found them to be both poignant and funny at the same same. (Thanks, Donald.)


For those who may be bothered or offended by the the pics above, I apologize for the morbid humor.

No.854

8 comments:

Peter said...

I would guess that Saddam might be a bit peeved by the photos Mike, but I think the rest of us will cope.

Jack K. said...

Great story.

Quoting bird, in a comment to her own posting, "This is my blog, I don't have to apologize."

Self-censorship is important. It keeps us out of discussions we would rather not be involved in.

My big questions is, How do you get all of that motion in your blog? It is absolutely amazing. I just don't know enough about html to get it yet.

Thanks for your insights.

jules said...

Morbid humor is almost as good as sexual humor. So keep it up, Mikey (pun intended).

Jack K. said...

Hale, thanks for the tips on animations.

Bird said...

just thought i'd stop by since you so kindly came to vist my roost.

interesting stuff here. love the redneck joke.

and i am embarrassed to say, given i am against capital punishment across the board, i appreciate the visual jokes as well. i come from a family who revels in dark and "inappropriate" humor.

flap/flap/swoosh!

Bird said...

oops - i forgot to say -

yes, the car chase scene from The Blues Brothers should be included in the top picks.

Serena Joy said...

I loved it all and wasn't a bit offended.:)

Miss Cellania said...

Funny! The gifs may be in bad tatste, but they are funny and well-done. An dRigis Tools? I have to have that poster!!!