Sunday, February 04, 2007

Super Thoughts

Since I had no particular wish for either team to win Super Bowl XLI, this year I decided to watch the game with a pen and a legal pad. What follows will be a mixed bag of rambling and comments, written down as the game played out and noting, of course the airing of the Super Sunday commercials.
....If you aren't interested in the game, ignore the lines in the regular font. The lines in italics are my rambling thoughts. Those in blue are notes about some of the commercials.

(The Piano Man is getting paid for that gig? )

(Has Dan Marino ever made an intelligent statement? )

(Can anyone understand a single word that comes out of Shannon Sterling's mouth? )

Opening kick-off - Hester 92-yd return for a touchdown! Da Bears 7, Indy 0.

(Shut up, Phil Simms! You're almost as bad as Joe Theisman. )

Manning intercepted!

Commercial: Bud Light - "Rock, Paper and Scissors." Two men reach for the last Bud Lite in a bucket of ice. They play rock, paper, scissors to decide who gets it. One man shows "paper," and the other throws a rock and hits him in forehead. Walks away with the beer. (Funny)

Commercial: Doritos - "Air Bag." In a head on collision, bag of Doritos serves as an airbag. (Ho-hum)

Commercial: Best Buy - "Defective Mouse." A rabbit and hamster are using a live mouse trying unsucessfully to get on line. (Cute and funny)

Commercial: Sierra Mist - "Beard comb-over." A man getting let go from a job because of his appearance. He has long beard which is combed over up to his head to hide a bald spot. (Not bad)

Reggie Wayne 53-yd touchdown pass! Fumbled snap. Chi 7, Ind 6.

Commercial: FedEx - "Moon Office." Workers floating in zero-gravity. One wonders how they make shipments. FedEX spaceship lands outside. (Nice sfx - okay)

Commercial: Bud Light - "Auctioneer Wedding." Fast talking auctioneer running wedding ceremony. Two guests waiting for ceremony to end to begin partying and drinking pay off auctioneer. (Funny, pretty good)

Fumbled kick-off return, Colts' ball! Colts' fumble, Bears' ball! Jones 52-yd run to to the Colts' 5-yd line. (Consecutive plays)

Grossman pass to Muhummad, touchdown! Chicago 14, Indianappolis 6.

Commercial: Snickers - "Man Kiss." Man working under hood of car as another man watches. First man has a Snickers candy bar hanging from his mouth. Second man decides to eat the other end of the candy. They end up with lips touching! Yuk! (Funny, good one)

Promo: Survivor: Fiji - Just another reminder how stupid reality TV really is!

Commercial: Bud Light - "English Lesson." Teaching foreigners how to ask for a Bud Light. Ends with teaching them what to say if someone asks for their Bud Light - "No Speak English." (Funny, not bad)

Network Promo: Two idiots watching the Super Bowl rooting for different teams: Oprah and Letterman.

(Would someone please put a gag on Simms! )

Bears fumble, Colts' ball. End of 1st quarter: Bears 14, Colts 6. (A service for those participating in an office 100 Squares Pool.)

Vinatieri 29-yd field goal: Chi 14, Indy 9.

(Surprise! Peyton Manning waited until 2 minutes into the second quarter to start whining! I ask you, has there ever been a dumber-looking hick play in the NFL? )

(Maybe if Simms keeps talking so much, maybe he'll fall asleep like half the viewing audience. Shut up, Simms! )

Touchdown Colts! Indy 16, Chi 14!

Colts fumble, Bears' ball! Bears' Grossman fumbles snap, Colts' ball! (Consecutive plays.)

Vinatieri 36-yd field goal attemp: No good! Wide left. Half time: Colts 16-14 over the Bears.

(Our home made Chili - came out great! Magnifique! I didn't need those nostril hairs anyway!)

(Aunt Jemima singing at half time? No, wait - it's Prince! WTF is he wearing on his head? How appropriate! Singing "Purple Rain" in the pouring rain!)

(I don't know who sounded worse - Billy Joel singing the National Anthem or Prince butchering "Along The Watchtower." Jimi Hendrix was surely rolling over in his grave. What an insult to a truely great talent!)

(Where's Janet Jackson and that Timberfake fella? At least they gave us some skin!)

The Bears kick off to the Colts to start the 2nd half of play.

( Hmmm, almost 7 minutes into the 3rd quarter and Manning is whining again! )

(Shoot Simms! )

Vinatieri 24-yd field goal: Colts 19, Bears 14.

Commercial: Bud Light - "Gorillas Plot." Two gorillas in a zoo plot to steal a case of Bud Light, but just as they are about to execute the plan, a flashbulb from a tourist's camera dazing the one who was supposed to pull off the heist. (Funny, not bad)

Commercial: Taco Bell - "Safari Lions." Two lions watching a group on safari having lunch try to pronounce the name of a Taco Bell product. (Cute, so-so.)

Rhodes: 36-yd run!

Vinatieri FG: Ind 22 - Chi 14.

Commercial: Federline's commercial was as bad as advertised! (I didn't even catch the sponsor.)

Commercial: Bud Light - "Hitchhiker." Young couple see a hitchhiker with an axe. Girl says don't stop. Boy says he's a six-pack of Bud Light. When they ask him the purpose of the axe, the hitcher says, "Bottle opener." Next hitchhiker has a chain saw! (Funny, good parody of the horror/slasher films)

Robby Gould 44-yd field goal: Indy over Chicago 22-17. End of 3rd quarter.

(At the end of three quarters, I have reached the conclusion that this is the worst crop of Super Bowl commercials in quite some time.
....My favorite so far: The Rabbit and hamster trying to get on line with a real mouse. Runner-up? I'd have to say the "Hitchhiker." )

Indianappolis interception of Rex Grossman pass returned for touchdown! Colts 29-17.

Commercial: HP Computers - Cool graphics.

Colts intercept another Grossman pass! (Bears' achilles heel, namely their Quarterback , has been exploited again!)

(Manning is whining again because the coach signaled for a punt. Good grief, man! You're up 29-17! )

Bears four and out, Colts take over on downs with just under 4 minutes remaining in the game.

Two minute warning.

(Groan! If wasn't bad enough that Peyton Manning's face has been plastered all over commercials for the last three years without him ever winning the big game - what's it going to be like when he does win? )

Final score: Indianappolis Colts 29 - Chicago Bears 17!

(Man! I've got a massive Phil Simms headache! I do believe his babbling would have even the Pope swearing! )

(Manning received the Most Valuable Player trophy, and rightfully so! But aarrgh! I dread those up-coming commercials!)

There you have it, my super take on the Super Bowl on this super Sunday. I guess my super rambling thoughts weren't such a super idea for a Blog posting, but it's time for bed. This will have to do.



Raggedy said...

Fantastic post!
I don't watch the television so this was just wonderful for me.
Thank you!
Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Scary Monster said...

Me totally forgot about the super bowl. That might explain the lack of activity in the American blogs Me visits

Sudiegirl said...

Dude...Prince is not someone to be TRIFLED with.

Do not pick on my boy.

However, you can dis Billy Joel's performance of the Star Spangled Banner. That is allowed.

lime said...

no i do not understand shannon sterling. i also want to know why the hell his tie is so gigantic.

HoosierGirl5 said...

The hitchhiker commercial was my favorite - "He's got an axe!" "I'm sure there's a good reason". "But he's got an axe!!!"

I thought the game was good,too. I don't listen to Phil Simms.

I liked the part where they thought the guy stepped out of bounds as he was catching the ball and they literally showed 12 replays of it from different angles. Come on, show it again. Please!!!

Great post.

Jack K. said...

Let's see, I did watch the game and have to agree with most of your comments. However, Billy was a nice diversion from the Roseanne rendition, don't you think?

I didn't know you were such a Phil Simms fan. He does talk a lot and say little of importance.

As for the commercials, I understand the Dorito's commercials were all made by amateurs. They asked their consumers to come up with home made commercials and that is what they got. Some of them were quite amusing to me.

Anonymous said...

pointmeister Is this about you!?? ☆★☆

Karen said...

Good write-up!

I do, however, like Peyton Manning. :+)

Serena Joy said...

I don't know diddly about football. Naturally, I didn't watch the game. Therefore, I paid much more attention to YOUR comments -- which rock. As do the commercials. Those, I'm sorry I missed. I have some catching up to do there. LOL. I did see Prince on the news this morning, and I wondered what was on his head. He DID look like Aunt Jemima.:)

Miss Cellania said...

See? I knew that if I didn't spend 6 hours of my life to watch the Super Bowl, I'd find all the good parts on the net today!

Mr. Fabulous said...

Dan Marino is my longest running same sex crush.

I demand satisfaction!

Izzy said...

I never watch the superbowl... and I can't stnad the front line news story the following morning... full page spread in the local paper all about the plays.

First off, I don't live in the USA, so why is it front page news in my city... i don't know.

Secondly... who needs detailed play by plays in the news... Give me the interesting stuff... like who tore off whose clothes and which commercial was the funniest and cost the most money.

This was a great post... the perfect recap in my perspective... This is the update that non superbowl watchers like myself need. Minimal sports... losts of out of bound comments.

Cheri said...

I loved reading this post...I like your take on the commercials. they are more entertaining then the game. Seems the Bud has it as the winher of the super bowl! xoxo

Hale McKay said...

"Anonymous"- that was a riot. Thank you. You gave me a new toy to play with also.

Hale McKay said...

Sudiegirl - I don't really dislike Prince, but he looked silly with that dew rag on backwards.

He did a good job on his own anthem, "Purple Rain."
....Sorry, but it was truly an insult to Jimi Hendrix with his horrendous butchering of "Along The Watchtower."

Hale McKay said...

Mr. Fabulous - Dan Marino is certainly one of the best NFL quarterbacks of all time.
....But as a sports analysist, he is flatout awful!

Hale McKay said...

Karen - Peyton Manning is a gret quarterback, and he will end up in the Hall of Fame as one of the great QBs of all time!

But he is a whining baby and spoiled brat. He has on several occasions "thrown" his teammates under the bus. He has forgotten that the Colts are a team!
....I hope he does, someday he will grow up!

Lori said...

Ok are you trying to see if anybody was actually watching the commericals or not??....This is a test I know it is...LOL....That Best Buy one...was actually Blockbuster!!!....So what do I win??

Have a great day!!!

kenju said...

I compared Prionce to Aunt Jemima too, Mike, either her or Mammy Yokum! LOL

Hale McKay said...

Lori, you are so right. It was indeed Blockbuster. Blockbuster is what I had written on the legal pad. I don't know where Best Buy came from - except maybe because it was late and I was tired.

Thanks for the correction.

Anonymous said...

That was better than watching the game, which I didn't as it was in the middle of the night here.