Monday, March 12, 2007

No Clues is Good Clues

I don't know who you are. I haven't a clue. No one has fessed up. Somebody did it!

I'm at the scene of the crime and there is nary a clue. Apparently the perpetrator didn't want to be caught.

It appears that it was a drive-by blog surfer. It's a clear case of hit and run.

That doesn't mean I can't issue a citation anyway. So whoever you are, you are hereby charged with being the 50,000th visitor to It Occurred To Me !

If that isn't enough to reason to celebrate, another drive-by surfer crashed the 900 barrier over at Verbicidal Tendencies ! My partner-in-crime, Serena Joy, and myself wish to thank everyone who pushed us over that count in just a little over one month. (If you haven't contributed to that count, what are you waiting for? Check us out.)

Now for some idle thoughts.

"I sold my house and moved into a pandemonium."

The choking song: The Girl From Emphysema.

When I first started using a personal computer, I read the tutorials and I even took a couple of classes. One such class dealt with the subject: "Cut and Paste." The night of the class everyone, including the instructor, appeared to be surprised that I was so prepared. I felt their eyes on me as I removed from my bag a pair of rounded scissors, some construction paper and a jar of glue.

Medical Insight

A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies
." - (Thanks, Earl.)

Isn't an innuendo an Italian suppository?

Alabama Farmer

The Alabama Wage and Hour Dept. claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

"Well," replied the rancher, "There's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years.I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board.

The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 per week plus free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night."

That's the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit," says the agent.

"That would be me," replied the farmer. - (Thanks again, Earl)



Rain said...

Yay! I am the first to congratulate you on your 50,000th visitor =0)

Now I am going to go and check out Verbicidal Tendencies...

Hale McKay said...

You were 50,100, Rain.

Peter said...

Hi Mike, congratulations on the 50k visits, that's a whole lot of visitors and I see you are still keeping us amused as per usual.
I've caught up now but it will get away from me again once I start my return trip.

jules said...

It's cuz we love you. Well, that and cuz you filed that damned restraining order so now this is the only way I can find you!

Miss Cellania said...

Congratulaions on your milestone!

I's really really like to work for that generous farmer. Must be a union farm.

Carolyn said...

These are great! (Medical Insight,lol!)

I could be your 50,000th visitor-- if there's a prize involved-- yes, it was me! ;D

lime said...

well congrats on the stats!

LMAO @ innuendo

and that farmer joke is just about right!

Serena Joy said...

Great jokes, especially the farmer joke. And congrats on the milestone. Wow, over 50,000 visitors! It'll take me five more years to get that many. But that's okay; I'll just admire yours.:)

Jack K. said...

Congratulations. You deserve it. I can always count on great postings. What a wonderful way to put my day in proper perspective.

Keep up your good works.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Terrific jokes, Pointer. Just terrific.

Raggedy said...

Congratulations on hitting 50,000!
Great post!
Thanks for the laughs.