Friday, April 11, 2008

Is That All There Is?


CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX! *


REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With her consent
12 Calories

Without her consent
2,187 Calories


OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands
8 Calories

With one hand
12 Calories

With your teeth
485 Calories


PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection
6 Calories

Without an erection
3,315 Calories


POSITIONS:

Missionary
12 Calories

69 lying down
78 Calories

69 standing up
812 Calories

Wheelbarrow
216 Calories

Doggy Style
326 Calories

Italian chandelier
2,912 Calories


ORGASMS:

Real
112 Calories

Fake
1,315 Calories


POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging
18 Calories

Getting up immediately
36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately
816 Calories


GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:

If you are:

20-29 years -36 Calories

30-39 years -80 Calories

40-49 years -124 Calories

50-59 years -1,972 Calories

60-69 years -7,916 Calories

70 and over -Results are still pending


DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

Calmly..
32 Calories

In a hurry
98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door
5,218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door
13,521 Calories

Results may vary!


THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD

Right now, as you read this,

69 Million Americans are having SEX!

And you're on the computer!!!

*
(Thanks, Earl.)

No.1317

4 comments:

Skunkfeathers said...

Thanks for pointing out I'm online and not in partaking mode :(

Hale McKay said...

Skunk,

I have no room to talk - I was online posting this!

Mushy said...

The calorie counter is hilarious!

Hale McKay said...

Thanks, Mushy.

When my buddy Earl sent it to me in an e-mail - I said I just GOTTA post this!