Insomni-Mac

Insomnia?
Do you lose sleep because you spend too much time on the computer? Does the caffeine in your coffee keep you awake?

Introducing
Mr. Computer
Are you unable to accomplish your online activities during normal hours because of a nagging significant other or your noisy demanding children?

Do you try to work at night after everyone has gone to bed but find yourself unable to stay awake? Now those unproductive nights are a thing of the past.

The fine people at Mr. Coffee and Macintosh have combined their resources to produce the innovative one-of-a-kind INSOMNI-MAC. This incredible state-of-the-art product combines the sophisticated technologies of a computer and a coffee maker all in one unit.

You will find yourself working all through the night without the annoying interruption of an empty coffee cup at your desk or work station. Why lose your train of thought while you run off to the kitchen to fill your cup? With the Insomni-Mac you need never leave your desk for your next java fix.

Think about it. The power of a Mac and a 10-cup coffee maker at arms length!

Now Insomni-Mac will sponsor some computer related humor.

Flower Power
I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife. As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on the bouquet, a young man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses.

"I'm sorry," the clerk said. "This man just ordered our last bunch." The desperate customer turned to me and begged, "May I please have those roses?"

"What happened?" I asked. "Did you forget your wedding anniversary?"

"It's even worse than that," he confided. "I crashed my wife's hard drive!"

If AOL Was A City
1. You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name.

2. You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck.

3. Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd be assaulted by slimy little door-to-door sales creeps offering you great AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99.

4. The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back into your yard.

5. The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known resident.

6. The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move.

7. If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important to us."

8. Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a bouncer screaming, "We're Sorry, This Store is Temporarily Unavailable"

9. Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see your license tag and laugh at you, behind your back.

10. You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation.

11. You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most new arrivals would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox with garbage, and vacate before sun-up.

12. The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding money.

No.1343