You wanna fix the economy?
Okay then, pay attention. Get your mind off basketball, bowling and Halle Barry naked.
There are about 40 million people in the U.S. over the age of 50 in the work force.
Now go over to that big fancy desk of yours and sit down! Make yourself comfortable. Grab a pen and that fat checkbook from which you've been throwing away money for bailouts and stimulus packages.
Remember those 40 million 50-year-olds out there in the work force? Well, you're going to write a check for one million dollars, tax-free, to each and every one of them. Yes. I said one million! That's a "1" followed by six zeros.
Their $1,000,000 checks will be severance pay, but with the following stipulations:
№ 1. They leave their jobs.This plan will only cost the government $40 million dollars! - And it bails out the WHOLE country!Forty million job openings.№ 2. They buy NEW American made cars.(Unemployment Fixed!)Forty million cars ordered.№ 3. They either buy a house or payoff their mortgage.(Auto Industry Fixed!)№ 4. They buy stock.(Housing Crisis fixed!)Voila! The stock market rebounds.(Financial Industry fixed!)
Your plans are going to cost HOW much?
WHAT? It's too easy for you? It won't be easy to get this by Congress and the Senate, you say?
Weren't you the one who in your pontifications promised CHANGE?
Well, here's a change, for a change. Start whipping out those checks, Barry. At least you'll be able to say you brought about at least ONE change. [sic] Like you promised.