Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Toilet Tweeting

The following are away messages to use with your instant messaging or when on your Tweeter account while you are in the bathroom.


  • Nature is calling and I'm answering!


  • HELP! I'm trapped in the toilet, I fell in. Can you please help me...
    Hello... Hello.. Uh-oh, I think someone is coming.


  • I'm taking advantage of indoor plumbing! I'll be right back!


  • Doctors suggest that you should drink at least 64 oz. of water a day.
    Being a drone, I make sure to do this. Unfortunately it does have some side
    effects... Leave a message, I'll be back soon.


  • ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ
    If your wondering where the P is... its about to run down my leg in a second.


  • When you gotta go, you gotta go!


  • I am not here. I'm on the potty, but don't leave if you're a hottie.


  • I'm in a foreign land far far away... Oh wait, this is just the bathroom.


  • Making an offering to the porcelain god... be back in about 20 minutes.


  • I'm in the bathroom right now...Be back in a splash.


  • Drop me a message while I drop something in the toilet!


  • I'm feeding the potty, please leave a message and I'll get back to you when its full!


  • King(or Queen) (your name) is on the throne.


  • Making my bladder gladder.


  • I have to run cause I got the runs.


  • Making my bladder flatter.


  • If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.


  • Fiber cleans everything but the toilet.


  • Doody calls.


  • Rub-a-dub-dub there better not be three men in my tub.


  • Somewhere over the toilet.


  • I'm at the bank making a deposit, no not that kind of bank,
    I'm on the toilet.


  • You know the expression, "I have to pee like a race horse?"
    That's what I'm doing right now.


  • Making big waves in the toilet.


  • I'm making a donation to tha urination station.


  • Swish, swish, goes the pee.
    Plop, plop, goes the poop.
    I'm in the bathroom!


  • How dry I am.
    How wet I'll be.
    If I don't find,
    The bathroom key.


  • You know you are addicted to the internet when you refer to
    going to the bathroom as downloading.


  • Pee is yellow, dooty is brown, when the sewer brakes,
    its all over the town.


  • You ever think the white toilet paper is boring? Yeah me too,
    I'm going go add some color to it.


  • Sometimes we like it up and down and sometimes we like it back
    and forth and it only takes about two minutes to do, but it feels
    great so maybe you should go brush your teeth too.


  • There is a place...
    Like no other place...
    A place of learning...
    A place of hope...
    A place of warmth...
    A place of security...
    A place of healing...
    A place of relaxation...
    A place of love...
    And no matter what, a part of you is always left behind.

    You've guessed it. I'm on the can.


  • Visiting the greatest nation is the world... Urination.


  • I'm draining my fluids.


  • In about 5 minutes I will weigh about 5 pounds less than
    I do right now.


  • Be right back I am feeding the toilet its dinner.


  • I am disposing some of my natural resources.


  • I'm trying out my new toilet paper.


  • Drop me a message while I drop something in the toilet.


  • Doing some consulting with my toilet right now.


  • I am going to the potty so don't leave if your a hottie.


  • You have to hold it, because I can't any longer.


  • Reigning on my throne.


  • Doody called and now we're having a long conversation in
    the bathroom.


  • I'm magically changing the color of the toilet water.


  • Happiness is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it,
    but only you can feel its warmth.


  • Making a sacrifice to the toilet god.


  • I'm at the Log Dropping Ceremonies.


  • Seeing if there really are 1000 sheets of toilet paper
    in each roll.


  • Gone pissin'


  • Feeding the toilet.


  • Hey I am relieving myself, I'll be back when its all over.


  • If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat!


  • I'm taking a dump at the moment so if its not too much
    trouble just dump a message on the screen.


  • The bathroom is a good place to be, When you just drank
    a gallon of water!


  • I am probably far away in another land.....or I just might
    be on the toilet.


  • The average person goes to the bathroom 6 times per day.
    This is one of those times.


  • Sorry I'm not here at my computer at the present moment,
    but I am on the toilet. If you would like to come over and
    bring me some toilet paper that would be greatly appreciated.


  • It's "Potty Time."


  • How dry I am, how wet I'll be, if you don't stop, IMing me.
    You got offline, now I'm heading for the door...
    oops it's to late...it's on the bathroom floor.


  • If you are reading this then that means I have gone to
    a better place... yep I am on the toilet.


  • I'm off to the urination station.


  • I am taking care of some business, that just happens to be
    taken care of in a small room with a tub and toilet.


  • Be back in a flush... I mean flash.


  • I am currently relieving the stress that's on my bladder.


  • I'm stuck in the potty.


  • Riding the porcelain pony.


  • Here I sit all down-hearted. Paid a dime to shit, but only farted.


  • 1804

    4 comments:

    Sandee said...

    Potty humor is great and these are great. Bwahahahahahaha. I think I'll use a couple of these.

    Have a terrific day. :)

    Hale McKay said...

    Sandee,

    You might say there was some good s**t in this post.

    WackyMummy said...

    My husbands favorite: Dropping some kids off at the pool. (Just had to add to your stash.) =)

    Hale McKay said...

    WackyMummy,

    Hmmm ... I knew that one. I don't know how I managed to miss it.