Thursday, December 03, 2009

Hold that Tiger by the Tail!

Tiger Woods Plays With Grubs

What the ...? I thought when I heard those words on the radio this morning. Why would a grown man be playing with those creepy crawly grubs?

Then I saw the pic at the left on the front page of the morning newspaper ...

Grubbs! Jaimee Grubbs!

It seems that the iconic superstar of golf has been practicing his stroke on this fairway for the past 31 months! I'd say that with that many rounds he must know this course pretty good. ( There must be a pun in there somewhere. )

I wonder if she might be the woman in the following joke:
What Would Tiger Do?

A couple were on their honeymoon, laying in bed, ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've only been with one other guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"


"Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" says the wife.

"I`m hungry. I was going to call room service and get some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love to his wife a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

"What are you doing now?" she says.

"I`m still hungry so I was going to ring room service and order some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it one more time."

The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife one more time. When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this hole !"
Tiger in the Tank

When asked by reporters how many times he's cheated on his wife Tiger said, "Two, three times ... Aw, put me down for a five."

When asked which golfing tournament was his favorite Tiger said, "The Skins Game."

On his last round he scored a sixty-nine.

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?

This is the first time Tiger’s ever failed to drive 300 yards.

Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he’s ever had. So Gillette has dropped his contract.

What do Tiger Woods' girlfriends do for him to wish him good luck? They kiss the balls in his bag.

After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree.

Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.

It would appear that Tiger Woods has been spending a lot of time in the rough.

It seems that Tiger Woods played one hole too many.

Why is Tiger Woods such a good golf player? He always keeps his putter straight.



Jack K. said...

You had to do it, didn't you?

Bwahahahahaha and ROTFLMAO

You're right. There is a pun in there somewhere. snerx. And, I should know.

Did you make up any of those one liners?

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahaha. You can't live a lie forever, the wife will find out sooner or later. Fun to watch isn't it. Yes, it is.

Have a great day. :)

Hale McKay said...


Yep! I had to do it. I found that I just couldn't stay away from it. You can't pick up a newspaper, watch the news - especially the sporting news - without being assaulted by this story.

I confess. I did make up five of those one-liners. (I won't admit which 5.)

Hale McKay said...


Yes, it is fun to watch. Suddenly there are a lot more people interested in golf ... different strokes for different folks? ... or similar strokes?