Monday, January 30, 2006

The Best of Fractured Etymology


(The Pointmeister has culled from a series of nine separate entries from his archives of the past year some of the best entries that can be found in his Dictionary of Fractured Etymology.)

One can never have a large enough vocabulary.

  1. Aftermath - When I had English class
  2. Analogy - Life story of an asshole
  3. Autopilot - One of the stars of the movie "Airplane"
  4. Benign - What an 8-year-old is on next birthday
  5. Bombadier - Use grenades to kill Bambi
  6. Brouhaha - Giggles from drinking too much beer
  7. Budget - What Yoda says when he needs another beer
  8. Catch-22 - A bust when playing Blackjack
  9. Commercial - What Hershel's mother says when dinner is ready
  10. Controvertible - Sedan
  11. Donate - The past tense of donut
  12. Elixir - What a man does after he kisses that low
  13. End all - The letter "L"
  14. Ennui - Where tears form
  15. Experiment - The hardened wads found under counter tops
  16. Feline - Where you wait for hours to pay your registration
  17. Forego - What you do after foreplay
  18. Hortense - What happened when the hooker was busted
  19. Larceny - Posting "The Far Side" cartoons against cartoonist's wishes
  20. Miniscule - Kindergarten
  21. Mystery - She spelled cheese as "chese"
  22. Negligent - Wearing flannel pajamas to bed
  23. Oxymoron - The dude who sells Oxy cleaner on those Infomercials
  24. Pasteurize - Where your eyebrows are found
  25. Piston - Much worse than pistoff
  26. Rectum - What happened to the cars in a head-on collision
  27. Rhubarb - Ru Paul's sister who dresses up as a man
  28. Sparrow - What you have when you spell "boook"
  29. Upstart - The letter "U"
  30. Voluptuary - Where Victoria's Secret models live.

(Feel free to use these new words in your everyday conversations or in your blogs. Impress friends and family members with your enriched vocabulary. You are well on your way to becoming a Lexicon.)

No.520

7 comments:

jules said...

I plan on using several of these today with the kids. Let's see what their parents think of the "word of the day" brought to you by Mr. Mikey!

Peter said...

Always love these sort of things Mike.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Ennui. That's rich. As is "piston".

Peter said...

Re my Alphabet post, senior moment 234567, I posted that to two sites and must have read it 8/10 times and NEVER noticed the missing M

Carolyn said...

I'm gonna try to use every one of these in my conversations tomorrow.

Oh heck, I scrolled down to that painted butt again!! ;D

FnQueen said...

Elixir - What a man does after he kisses that low.
Got to be my favorite one! ;)

Cheri said...

Nice!! I love these things. FYI..the rock went over amazing! Thanks! LOL