The Best of Fractured Etymology

(The Pointmeister has culled from a series of nine separate entries from his archives of the past year some of the best entries that can be found in his Dictionary of Fractured Etymology.)

One can never have a large enough vocabulary.

1. Aftermath - When I had English class
2. Analogy - Life story of an asshole
3. Autopilot - One of the stars of the movie "Airplane"
4. Benign - What an 8-year-old is on next birthday
5. Bombadier - Use grenades to kill Bambi
6. Brouhaha - Giggles from drinking too much beer
7. Budget - What Yoda says when he needs another beer
8. Catch-22 - A bust when playing Blackjack
9. Commercial - What Hershel's mother says when dinner is ready
10. Controvertible - Sedan
11. Donate - The past tense of donut
12. Elixir - What a man does after he kisses that low
13. End all - The letter "L"
14. Ennui - Where tears form
15. Experiment - The hardened wads found under counter tops
16. Feline - Where you wait for hours to pay your registration
17. Forego - What you do after foreplay
18. Hortense - What happened when the hooker was busted
19. Larceny - Posting "The Far Side" cartoons against cartoonist's wishes
20. Miniscule - Kindergarten
21. Mystery - She spelled cheese as "chese"
22. Negligent - Wearing flannel pajamas to bed
23. Oxymoron - The dude who sells Oxy cleaner on those Infomercials
24. Pasteurize - Where your eyebrows are found
25. Piston - Much worse than pistoff
26. Rectum - What happened to the cars in a head-on collision
27. Rhubarb - Ru Paul's sister who dresses up as a man
28. Sparrow - What you have when you spell "boook"
29. Upstart - The letter "U"
30. Voluptuary - Where Victoria's Secret models live.

(Feel free to use these new words in your everyday conversations or in your blogs. Impress friends and family members with your enriched vocabulary. You are well on your way to becoming a Lexicon.)

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