Giving Good Head ....Lines

Sometimes a title says it ...

Sometimes a picture says it ...

(Ima Butts,pictured at right and making her third appearance in this blog, will be introducing the first headline.)

And sometimes a Headline says it all.

A REASON FOR ODOR FOUND AT SEWER PLANT
- (Sand Mountain Reporter, Alabama)

HURRICANES UNHEALTHFUL
- (Rapid City Journal, South Dakota)

PANTY PESTS EASY TO CONTROL
- (Oconto County Reporter, Wisconsin)

JUDGE LOSES FIRMNESS WHEN HE DOFFS HIS ROBE
- (Buffalo Courier-Express)

(Daughter stunned as she looks on.)

VIRGIN HOLDS OFF 10,000 IN PEACH TREE
- (Lewiston Morning Tribune, Idaho - reporting on long distance runner, Craig Virgin's victory in the Atlanta Peachtree Classic road race.)

NAVY CHANGES SKIRT POLICY MAKING APPAREL OPTIONAL
- (San Diego Union Tribune)

(I'll bet that straightens his putter.)

RUMSFELD'S PUBIC ROLE IS SHRINKING
- (Providence Journal, Rhode Island)

(We knew about Monica, but who's Bonnie?)

(Must have been the refried beans!)

The following headlines did not have sources cited. They may have been created on a random headline generator, but they can be found at several different sites. In the place of the sources, I have added my own thoughts.

PANDA MATING FAILS - VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
- (Says Panda, "He doesn't call ... he doesn't write ...")

BLIND WOMAN GETS NEW KIDNEY FROM DAD SHE HASN'T SEEN IN YEARS
- (Now she'll be able to piss on his grave.)

DEALERS WILL HEAR CAR TALK AT NOON
- (In a seance, Ann Sothern talks about her reincarnation as a car.)

ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX
- (How the cow got hold of the keys to the tool shed a mystery.)

WILLIAM KELLY WAS FED SECRETARY
- (Says Kelly, "Tastes just like chicken.")

DEATH CAUSES LONELINESS, FEELING OF ISOLATION
- (..And you think life is unfair?)

MAN IS FATALLY SLAIN
- (Being slain usually is fatal.)

QUEEN MARY HAVING BOTTOM SCRAPED
- (That can't feel so good on the hemorrhoids.)

No.921