Thursday, February 24, 2005

Top 10 Things Not To Be Caught Doing

There are a lot things you wouldn't want to be caught doing. You wouldn't want the kids to walk in on you in the bedroom. You wouldn't want to walk around with a trail of toilet paper sticking out of your clothing. You wouldn't want to be caught picking your nose while flipping hamburgers at McDonalds. There are many more. I came up with the top 10 below, I hope you are never caught doing any of these.
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~ 10. Dancing in the rain: (Gene kelley got paid to do it. You won't.)
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~ 9. Losing your head: (A lot of good it did Anne Boleyn)
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~ 8. Painting the town red: (Graffiti is against the law)
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~ 7. Barking up the wrong tree (And that goes for humping your master's leg too)
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~ 6. Shooting the moon (You might be an ass, but don't show it)
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~ 5. Driving Miss Daisy (I know some men like older women but...)
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~ 4. Licking Stamps (Careful, Terrence might be reprising his role as Zod)
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~ 3. Turning over a new leaf (Especially if Adam saw you)
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~ 2. Having a cow (It would make medical history. Ahem, who's the father?)
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~ And the number one thing you wouldn't want to get caught doing...
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~ 1. Making whoopie (It might be okay for Ted Danson, but not for me, thank you!)
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Also receiving consideration: kicking the bucket; beating a dead horse; walking on egg shells; knocking them dead; drinking on the house; breaking wind; passing gas (what good is a joke without a reference to flatulence?)
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~ No. 54




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