Sunday, May 25, 2008

A Bad American

Today I am passing on a couple of items I received in a recent e-mail.

I am a BAD American.

I Am Your Worst Nightmare.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary, be it Democratic or Republican!

I believe that owning a gun doesn’t make you a killer, I believe it makes you a smart American.

I believe that being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.

I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time watching or arguing about it.

I’ve never owned a slave, or was a slave, and I WILL NOT pay reparations for something that I didn’t do.

I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.

This is AMERICA, I believe if you don’t like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country!

I want to know which church it is exactly, where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you’re running from them, because if you’re not guilty, WHY are you running?

I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of what color you are, that’s the job we’re paying them to do.

And, no, I don’t mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it’s good, it lets you know it’s really me.

I’m proud that the word ’God’ is written on my money.

I believe that if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making ‘donations’ to their cause.

I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

I believe ‘illegal’ is illegal no matter what the law makers think.

I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed to fly over American soil! If you want to fly the flag of YOUR nation at the top of a flag pole, by all means, do so, IN YOUR OWN NATION! And if the American flag is NOT your flag, then this is NOT your nation!

If this makes me a BAD American or causes you to classify me as a racist, then yes, I’m a BAD American and a racist.

If you’re a BAD American, if you share the same feelings and beliefs that I do, please, copy and post this on your web site for everyone to see.

We want our country back! GOD BLESS AMERICA!

AMEN.


Two Rednecks Enlist in the Air Force

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.

As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a sanitary waste truck walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.

He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"

The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"

The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!"

The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"

The young man says, "I chop wood!"

"Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?"

"I chop wood!"

"Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!"

"Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!"

"Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!"

The young man rolls his eyes and says, "So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!"

No.1361

2 comments:

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Hoo boy. "Pile it": Never saw it coming. That's a dandy, ol' fella.

Hale McKay said...

Hoss,

You of all people - how could you have missed "pile."