Thursday, October 30, 2008

Trick Me - Treat Me

When this witch tricks — it's a treat!

Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat...

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose
your balance and fall over.

6. People say, "What a scary mask!" but you're not wearing
a mask!

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't
remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of
restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't
dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with
a walker.

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wife lives.

pulled this from my archives of October 31, 2005. On that Halloween night I was having computer problems. To record those problems for posterity, I wrote up a parody of Bobby "Boris" Picket's The Monster Mash.

The Microsoft Crash

I was working on my blog late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight,
For my monitor on the desk begin to flash
And suddenly my PC began to crash;
....(It did the crash.) It was the Microsoft crash.
....(It did the crash.) It was a grave hard smash.
....(It did the crash.) It shutdown in a flash.
....(It did the crash.) It did the Microsoft crash.

From my blogatory in the castle west
To the plaster rooms where everyone slept,
The gals all came from their humble blanket
To see if I would hit the PC or if I'd spank it.

The techies were having fun,
The system crash had begun;
Outside it was storming,
The servors went down with no warning!

The scene was rocking hearing the friggin sounds
Of all my yelling backed by our barking hounds:
The wall bangers were mad and they said
"Enough with the vocals, get up - go to bed!"

Above all my coughin' the PC began to worsen
Seems it was troubled by just one person.
It then opened a window and said to click restart
I stretched and yawned, loosed a belch and a fart.

Now everything's cool, Pointmeister's back on line
And my Microsoft Crash is gone till another time.
For you, the sleeping , this blog was meant too
When you get to my blog, tell them Boris sent you.

Remember, separate your favorite candy - you wouldn't want to be handing out the good stuff, would you?

Happy Halloween



Jack K. said...

I just like to stay home and have fun with the kids who come around. I usually ask the young ones what their trick might be. Then I remind them that their best trick is to make candy disappear. chortle.

As for the frightening tale, I know why I stick with a Mac. snerx.

Sandee said...

That is indeed some witch. Have a great Halloween. :)

Posh Totty said...

Happy Halloween Xxx

Carolyn said...

Great poem! Happy Hallow!! :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the grins! I hope you and yours have a spectacular Halloween!

Hale McKay said...


I like to stay home too and hand out the candy with my wife. Around 7 PM we call it quits and turn out the lights because that's when the bigger kids come out - teens with pillow cases.

Hale McKay said...


hich witch? Oh, that witch.

A Happy Halloween to you too.

Hale McKay said...

Posh Totty,

Right back atcha. Thanks for the visit. I'll drop by your place too.

Hale McKay said...


Thank you. Happy Halloween to you and yours.

Hale McKay said...


The same for you and yours. The grins are always on the house here.

KeesKennis said...

Hi Hale
This is so cool that piccie of the witch is one that I photoshopped with the actual face of Maeve from

I am sending her here for a LOL

Maeve said...

Ah yes, Keesie and his mad photoshopping skills!
It is always so much fun to see the little kids dressed up.