Saturday, November 15, 2008

Thanksgiving: On a Sesame Street Bun

He's making a list, and checking it twice,
Gonna find out who's naughty and nice...
Santa Claus is coming to town.

So who's checking up on him
Before he's coming?

You gotta love double entendres. You can get away with just about anything!

With Thanksgiving less than two weeks away, I thought I would resurrect this classic gem from my November, 2006 archives.

On a Sesame Street Bun

Usually when someone gives you the bird, chances are you cut him off at an intersection. On the other hand, if someone gives you the bird on the third Thursday of November, you eat it!

Through the magic of this Blog, you are about to witness what happened when the bird was given to the denizens of Sesame Street. (Caution: This is a childrens' blog, it contains graphic references that may be too intense for adults.)

Ernie: Say, Bert. That's sure one big turkey!
Bert: He always was.
Oscar: I'll say. I sure won't miss that annoying nasally voice of his.
Bert: I think we can stomach the big guy one more time, don't you?
Count: Bwa-ha-ha-ha! I think I'll count how many days of leftovers we're going to have.
Ernie: It sure tastes gamey.
Oscar: Save the bones for me!
Elmo: You going to make a stew, Oscar?
Oscar: No. The bones will make pretty decorations for my trash can!
Count: I'll count them for you.
Ernie: Say, Bert. This stuffing tastes good!
Bert: Yeah. I wonder what it's made of?
Cookie Monster: Cooooookies!
Elmo: I sure hope those are "chocolate" chips!
Count: I think I'll count the chips.
Bert: I wonder what's for dessert?
Cookie Monster: Cooooookies!
Elmo: Hey guys, where's Miss Piggy?
Bert: Aw, she's on another one of her diets.
Ernie: She can't eat turkey?
Bert: You know her, it's gotta be French cuisine.
Ernie: But aren't the French a bunch of turkeys?
Count: I counted a lot of turkeys in France.
Bert: Say, Ernie?
Ernie: Yes, Bert?
Bert: I gotta joke for you. What's green and smells like pork?
Ernie: Gee, Bert, I don't know.
Bert: Kermit's face!
Elmo: Tee-hee-hee-hee-giggle-hee-hee!
Ernie: Bert, I don't get it!
Cookie Monster: After she get her cooooookies!
Statler: Ho-ho-ho-ho!
Waldorf: What are you laughing at? That wasn't funny.
Statler: Who's laughing? I'm choking on a wing bone.
Waldorf: Uh-oh. Here comes the Pig!
Miss Piggy: Did I hear someone mention moi?
Ernie: Hello, Miss Piggy. I got a new joke for you.
Bert: No Ernie. I don't think that's a good idea.
Miss Piggy: You have a joke for little ol' moi? Give, little man!
Ernie: (Gulp) Sure. What's green and smells like Miss Piggy?
Miss Piggy: Watch it, buster. This had better be good.
Ernie: I don't get it, but the answer is Kermit's face.
Miss Piggy: Hiii-Yaaaah!
Statler: Whoa! The Pig karate-chopped him all the way across the room!
Waldorf: I think he got it. That was the punch line.
Bert: Ouch! That must hurt.
Ernie: Ooh. Look at the rubber duckies spinning around my head.
Count: Let me count the rubber duckies!
Elmo: Look! Here comes Kermit! What's he doing in a wheel chair?
Miss Piggy: Oh, Kermie. There you are, my love. I could just eat you up.
Kermit: You already did, Piggy.
Ernie: Bert. Where's Kermit's legs?
Count: No legs to count!
Bert: I told you she's on a French diet - frog legs!
Statler: I wonder what they'll serve for Christmas?
Waldorf: Haven't you guessed? Ham!

Music: It's time to put on makeup! It's time to dress up right! It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight!

№ 1525


Skunkfeathers said...

Have Miss Piggy meet PETA, as they make their annual plea for people to eat tofurkey....hyyyyyyy-YA *whack*!

Jack K. said...

ROTFLMAO....hyyyyyyy-YA *whack*!

Hale McKay said...


I once read that tofu can be used as a stop leak on an exhaust sytem, once it sets and is heated it dries to a concrete like hardness.

Imagine what that's doing to people's innards!

hyyyyyy-Ya *whack*!

Hale McKay said...