Saturday, June 20, 2009

Dictionary of Redneck Idiom


Argosy - biography of a buccaneer

Asperse - a fanny pack

Bacon Strip - what Kermit saw at the all nude girlie revue starring Miss Piggy

Circumstance - the condition where one's girth makes it difficult to see the feet on which one stands (see graphic above)

Conniption - a male reaction to a woman wearing a tight tee-shirt in an air conditioned room

Constable - where prisoners sit to eat

Elixir - what a woman hopes a man will do after he removes her underpants

Endive - the letter "e"

Experiment - hardened wads found under desk tops or movie theater seats

Falsify - to wear a padded bra

Freezer - divorces his wife

Insinuate - when you had dinner at the house of your mistress

Innuendo - one way to get in your house when you lose your keys

Java Script - a cup of coffee and the morning paper

Johnny Walker - a hospital ambulatory device

Judo - unleavened bread

Masturbator - one who is adept at putting the worm on the fish hook

Morale - a corral for boats

Nitrates - they kick in after the day rates

Parables - two bovine males

Parsimony - what a preacher pays his ex-wife

Piston - much, much worse than pistoff

Queue - powerful alien tormentor on Star Trek: The Next Generation

Rhubarb - Ru Paul's sister who dresses up as a man

Socrates - a male practice of placing something, such as a sock, in the front of his pants in order to appear more endowed



Skunkfeathers said...

yawp...sownds akkrat h'yar ;)

Hale McKay said...


I shure tried to be akkrat.

Rain said...

I hope you have a wonderful Father's Day! :)

Hale McKay said...


Thank you.

As always, it is good to hear from you.