Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Wacky Wassailing & Crazy Caroling

Unless you've been stranded on a deserted island somewhere, you've no doubt been hearing Christmas carols since Halloween.

One of my favorite traditions of the Yuletide Season is to post my original parodies of those familiar Christmas lyrics. My first attempt at that practice this year has been inspired by the indiscretions of a well-known sports figure.

Tiger the Golf Man

-Sung to the tune of
"Frosty the Snowman"

Tiger the golf man was a jolly horny soul
With a Nike cap and a bright red shirt
And his two eyes on every hole.
Tiger the golf man is a superstar they say
He was as pure as snow but the paparazzi
know how he fell from grace one day.

There must have been some magic when the
pants he wore were down
For when he pulled them to his knees
It began to dance around

O Tiger the golf man was as horny as he could be
and the women say he could drive and putt
better than you and me.

Humpetty hump hump
Humpetty hump hump
Look at Tiger go
Humpetty hump hump
Humpetty hump hump
All the girls in a row

Tiger the golf man knew that the heat was on that day
So he said, "I'll run coz it'll be no fun
now before she swings away.
To the end of the driveway with a nine iron in her hand
Chasing him here and there all around and saying
"I'll hit you as hard as I can."

He led her onto the streets of town right into a fire plug
And she paused a moment when
she heard him holler "What the fug!"
For Tiger the golf man had to worry on this day
he waved his girlfriends goodbye
"Don't you cry, I'll be putting again some day."

Humpetty hump hump
Humpetty hump hump
Look at Tiger go
Humpetty hump hump
Humpetty hump hump
More girls than we know.



Sandee said...

You are really stuck on Tiger aren't you. Yes you are.

Have a terrific day. :)

Hale McKay said...


Yeah. No matter what station I watch on TV, radio program I listen to, or newspaper I pick up - we're bombarded with Tiger Woods!

When I heard "Frosty the Snowman" on the radio I began to change the character to Tiger the golf man - ergo.....