Friday, January 21, 2005

Vermont Teddy Bears Pending...

I am already on record (see "It Occurred To Me" dtd 1/20/05) expressing my displeasure over the current trend of
assailing people with their heavy salvoes of political correctness. I said it then, and I'll say it again; politically correct
is, in a word, incorrect!
This brings me to the latest itch that needs to be scratched. What could be wworse than removing "God" from
anything public? How about attacking cute, cuddly teddy bears? Actually, it is a siege against the Vermont Teddy
Bear Company, and a particular bear they are promoting for the upcoming Valentines Day.
The dastardly item is the "Crazy For You" teddy bear, which is decked out in a straight jacket. It is supposedly
insensitive to the mentally ill. Now, try as I might, I have been hard pressed to read a quote or see an interview,
wherein a mentally challenged person has made such an inference. Call me CRAZY, but the people making this
claim, appear perfectly normal to me.
I am sure that many of you remember your younger, informative years when you first experienced a crush on someone. You were crazy for that person. He or she simply drove you crazy. You were crazy in love. Patsy Cline
had a monster hit song, still heard in honky-tonks to this day, called, coincidently, Crazy. Who'd have thought it?
In our you naivete, we were not politically correct. If it were to be released today, Patsy's song would be "banned in
Boston," and some would refuse to buy the products of the sponsors of any radio station that was crazy enough to
play it.
I have decided, as a conscientious and well meaning citizen, that I will offer consultation and guidance to the
Vermont Teddy Bear Company. With an "ounce of prevention" agenda, I have come up with a list of teddy bear themes that the company should not manufacture.
This is just a sampling of suggestions:

The George W Bear (it will declare war on other bears and dolls)
The Quadraplegic Bear (self explanatory)
The Suicide Bomber Bear (events in Middle East make this one obvious)
The Paris Hilton Bear (just activate a cam and will perform sex acts with other bears, dolls, or pillows)
The Michael Jackson Bear (not intended for children)
The PeeWee Herman Bear (inanimate until an adult film is playing)
The Rap Artist Bear (it sings unintelligible lyrics)
The Roseanne Bear (it grabs its crotch while singing the national anthem off-key)

There are many more bears that I would advise them not to market, in the name of being politically correct.
I wonder, is it politically correct for me to provide such a list to the Vermont Teddy Bear Company? Surely, I
would be attacked for preventing an insensitive bear being released, and therefore denying the PC's something to
go crazy over.

Of course, the company would never make the bears listed above in the first place.

One final thought for you to chew on ... just what would a politically correct teddy bear look like? Hmmm....
No. 2

1 comment:

Jude Allen said...

Hmm, a politically correct teddy bear? Basically a small throw pillow? I've heard this story elsewhere, and i too think that the "pc's" take things too far. But don't they always?