Monday, March 28, 2005

Digitally Speaking

* I find it amazing what they are coming out with in the world of technology nowadays. The hot items are all the cell phones with all those extra features. There is text messaging, surfing the net and reading and sending e-mail. The rage of the cell phone market of course is cell phones with built-in camera. Teens especially, can snap photographs or short video clips. They can then call a friend and send them phone to phone. Without talking they can text or type messages that appear on the screen of another phone.
* These phones also have the ability to download ring tones. What ever happened to the ordinary bell ring? Hmm, in fact a bell ring just might be considered unique and unusual. In other words, a bell ring could very well be the next "hot" feature that everyone will want. Imagine that!
* Cell phones now have MP3 capabilities. Coming soon, there will be cell phones that will be aable to link up with Satellite Radio. Not mentioned so far is the cost of having and using all of these add-on features. Never mind the monthly bill from the phone service provider, but all those features cost money. Just ask any parent with a teenager who has a cell phone bill of $400 to $1000 a month.
* I am waiting with great patience for the technology to catch up to my needs. How about a television set that allows me to flip through the two hundred plus channels they provide and actually find something worth watching.
* I am waiting for a practical and affordable waay to access the internet through my TV set. Since my telephone, cable and internet all come through the same fibre optic cable, this should be no problem as far as logistics. Whether the hookup would be relatively simple. I can almost picture gaming, e-mailing and web surfing on a 30 inch screen as opposed to a 19 inch monitor.
* Last week I bought a camera with a built-in telephone! You can take a picture and then make a call and send it to another party! Pretty cool, huh? What's that? Cellular telephones already do that? Yeah, I knew that, but I wasn't finished mentioning all the features this baby has. Check it out! If I call a number and someone answers, I can take a picture of them through the phone line without a cam. Imagine the fun I am going to have with this gadget.
* Suppose I found her number and got connected with Pamela Anderson; she answers while she was dressing or in the shower or in the middle of an intimate act, all I would have to do is snap a photograph and "draw", not send, the image to my camera/phone. She hangs up, but I have an instant digital photograph. Can your cell phone do that? No? Oh, I see. You have to take a picture, then call up a friend and then send them the photo you just took. Well, mine can do that too! Let me see if I have this right, you have a cell phone that can take pictures like a camera. But I have a camera that can make phone calls!
* (Of course, I would be a little more selective in who I would try to call for a shower shot. THere are enough Pamela Anderson photos, nude or not, out there. I just had a horrible thought! What if I dialed by acideent the residence of Rosy O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres was there in the shower with her? Ugh! Talk about pornography!)
* Coming soon: Rectal Thermometers with built-in cameras/phones
*For a low brow view of high-tech check out:

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