Friday, May 20, 2005

Watching Paint Dry

While vegging out last weekend, I was grateful for once that it was raining. With rain in the forecast for this coming weekend also, it will be five straight weeks that either Saturday or Sunday, or both will be washouts. It is easy to see why some people are miserable and testy. I must admit that all this rain is a bit much.
~ Last weekend I spent all day Saturday watching paint dry. I was hoping that this weekend I could do something a little more exciting, like maybe parking myself in a lawn chair and watch the cars rust!
~ In any event, there is plenty to do around the house. There is always something to do around a house, inside and out. If you are a home owner you know what I mean. However, there is one phenomenon in life that presents itself to the man of the house. I can walk through the rooms of the house and not see anything that might look amiss. My wife, on the other hand, can follow the same path that I took and add at least a half dozen items to the "Honey-Do" list! How does she do that?
~ How was I to know that a curtain rod bracket was loose? The darn thing was hidden behind the drapes! How was I to know that there was a slight leak in the drain pipe from the garbage disposal? That darn thing is under the kitchen sink! How was I supposed to know that the cats' litter box needed to be cleaned out? I had just cleaned it last Tuesday!
~ If there ever was an example of asexual procreation, it certainly is the dreaded "Honey-Do" list. It sometimes seems to grow expotentially. Ironically, I even made the holder for it! As she would describe it, it as a cute wood cutout of a claw hammer with words "Honey-Do" painted across the handle. Two removable wooden pegs to secure a pad of paper completed the &*#%ing project gone wrong. Little did I know then that she would actually put it use! You don't get to watch much paint dry when the list is not blank.
~ When the weather permits, the certainly are things to do outside also. I must admit the yard looks good after I've mowed the lawn, trimmed the hedges and pulled the weeds. More satisfying is to sit back in a lawn chair with a cold one after a couple of hours of yard work.
~ Like a Quality Control Supervisor, my wife chooses that time to come outside to survey the results. She never fails to amaze me, for as surely that the sky is blue, she spots two or three things that I might have missed. How does she do that?
~ The most insidious Honey-Do list of all is the oral one. Faced with such a list, attention is important, and they have to be done five minutes ago. Once enunciated, any debate over what was and what was not on the list is strictly a moot point.
~ With the yard work finished for a second time, I can still have an afternoon devoted to nothing else but watching the cars rust. You think? Suddenly there is a warning shot fired across the bow! She pulls out all the stops and unveils the "Honey-Ask" list!
~ For some, the milk carton has chosen that moment to become empty. The empty cellophane bag has spoken up to tell her we also need some bread. The trash can, which was empty when I began the yardwork, has somehow managed to fill itself to overflowing. (We really need to do something about those Poltergeist!)
~ This weekend, however, looks promising indeed. The yard is up to snuff, there is plenty of milk and bread, and it is supposed to rain again. Rain or shine, you have to love the weekends! Fortunately time is of no consequence to drying paint and rusting cars! If I am lucky, there might be sun one day and rain the other! I might have the chance to scientifically study paint and rust.
~ Maybe, just maybe, I'll pull out that jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces. Then again, I do like to live on the edge; I could always play some solitaire with a deck of 51!

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