I have nothing against blondes, but I think that every concubine should include at least one. -Mae West
A blonde and a brunette were having lunch together. The blonde noticed that her friend wasn't talking much. She asked of her, "Are you okay? You haven't said a thing."
...."My boyfriend just sent me a dozen roses," she replied.
...."That's great!" said the blonde, "But why so glum?"
....The brunette sighed and said, "It means I'm going to have to spend the evening with my knees up in air."
...."Why?" asked the blonde puzzled. "Don't you have a vase?"
What she wouldn't have given for some roadside assistance. Before persuing her country and western singing career, Dolly Parton was an auto mechanic. It seems she had front end problems.
A blonde's diary reveals that she has had a bad year:
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels... "duh"... bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March - Got excited... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours... power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
June - Tried to go water skiing... couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition... learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm... car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C"... isn't it???
October - Hate M &M's... they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 911... "duh"... there's no "eleven" button on the phone! What a year!!!