Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Remotely Possible

As I was channel surfing earlier, my viewing pleasure suffered yet another setback. Despite of the choice of far more channels than number of pounds I can register on the bathroom scale, it's little wonder that the Internet has supplanted television as the center of entertainment in our household.
....Since that fateful day when I discovered the Blogosphere, thus demoting the TV set to a status just behind newspapers, there have been no programs worthy of my attention or time. I will qualify that last sentence by admitting to watching Jeopardy before firing up the computer. Otherwise, not one program has been able to persuade me to forsake the keyboard in favor of the remote.
....Not even the comfort zone of my comfort throne, Lazy Boy, has had the power to draw me under its spell. Catering to the needs of my body, the ritual of nourishment shares time and space with the computer.
....That phenomenon of the Blogging world known as the Meme, has provided a service by offering material for those times when Bloggers have nothing in particular to write about. (There rises a cacophanous chorus of "Oh no, not another Meme!" from the throngs of Blog readers visiting this site.)

I got around to burning some wood thinking that there might be some television programs, past and present, that could be said to be "adjectives" of my life.
If My Life Was A TV Set
If my life was a TV set, each click of the remote could land on a program descriptive of one day in my life. You have the remote.
Click! Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom - With two dogs and three cats counted as part of our family, Marlin Perkins would find plenty to offer his audience live on site from our house.
Click! Rawhide - Once in the morning and again in the evening, there is cattle herd in full stampede to the pet's food dishes.
Click! Home Improvements - Otherwise known as "Honey-Do" projects.
Click! Twilight Zone - For those times that I have no idea what I did or said that was wrong.
Click! 24 - For those days that every things seems to be a crisis.
Click! CSI - "Have you seen my car keys?"
Click! The Flintstones - I realize we are the last of our circle of friends and family to have a Video Camera, a PDA, TiVo or similar DVR devices, etc. We are living in the Stone Age.
Click! The Jetsons - Opposite of The Flintstones; we are living in the future. We try to keep up with the neighbors and buy the current state-of-the-art devices even though we haven't a clue how to use them.
Click! Candid Camera - Everytime something embarrassing happens to me, there is an audience.
Click! Extreme Makeover - I am watching an old black and white program and realize I am still wearing the same style of clothing as in the film.
Click! This Old House - See Home Improvements. (Projects I cannot do myself.)
Click! Desperate Housewives - There is more cleavage visible below the waist around your house.
Click! All In The Family - This now includes in-laws.
Click! Survivor - I woke up this morning.
Click! MacGuyver - I can never seem to find the right tool when I need it and have to improvise.
Click! King Kong - 'Twas beauty killed the beast - with Honey-Do projects.
Click! The Paper Chase - Bills, bills, and more bills!
Click! Mission: Impossible - Paying bills, bills, and more bills!
Click! Daniel Boone - "Elbow room" cried Dan'l Boone. Too many people. Too much traffic.
Click! Star Trek - Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligence life down here.
Only four of the programs mentioned are currently in production. The rest, if on at all now, will be on only as syndicated reruns. Indeed, some readers may not be familiar with some of them. Like I stated in the beginning of this post, there are no TV shows now airing that can pull me away from this computer. You probably thought I was exaggerating. Trust me, I speak with the forked-tongue of truth.
....It would be interesting what more up to date TV programs that you find can and do mirror your own lives.


Merle said...

Hi Mike ~~ I agree that there is not many worthwhile shows on TV, and the
computer is far better for most things. As I live alone, I have either a radio or TV on in the background for company.
Thanks for your concern for young Ash,
he is being fed by tube to his stomach
Do hope they find what is wrong and solve it. Take care, Merle.

jipzeecab said...

The only thing I watch religiously is Jeopardy..I still look in on sports and Imus in the Morning.

Miss Cellania said...

I gave up TV when there was no adult to watch with me anymore. It was an interactive thing when the two of us watched, because we would talk to each other about what was on. Once thats gone, TV is boring. The internet gives me a way to be an active participant, and get feedback!

kenju said...

What?? No Big Brother? No American Idol? No "So you think you can dance?"

StringMan said...

I don't watch much tube either these days, Mike. What time I have is taken up doing this (blogging) and playing music.

Brilliant post idea. The only two shows I watch are 24 (and you covered that), and The Office. Not much I can add to your fine list.