Friday, September 29, 2006

Redneck's Unexpurgated Dictionary

Fast food - the rabbit that got away.

Bipolar - when those big white bears go either way.

Eskimo Pie - what an Aleutian leaves behind when a bipolar bear winks at him.

Superbowl - what you might need if you order super size at Chili-rama.

Retrofitting - trying to get an ass too big into jeans too small.

One size fits all - false claim by manufacturer that leads to retrofitting.

Scrutinize - undress a woman with one's eyes.

Election - what oriental man gets when he scrutinizes.

Titular - kind of srutinizing that gives man an election.

Dictator - what Mr. Potato Head becomes when he scrutinizes

Assuade - to walk in water not quite waist deep.

Kumquat - meaning unkown, but it sounds dirty.

Limpid - a man's deflated ego.



Peter said...

Love 'em Mike, fav. Election.

jules said...

Wow, who drew the cartoon of me?

Anonymous said...

those are pretty funny. I especially like dictator. hahaha!