Thursday, September 28, 2006

Loving The Fat Bastard

First girl: What are you doing tonight?
Second girl: I'm going to pick up some fat bastard and then go to bed.


First woman: How was your weekend?
Second woman: Great! I spent it at the lake with a fat bastard.

Say what?

Chiropractor: How's your sore back?
Female patient: It feels good. I spent the evening in the jacuzzi with a fat bastard.

Excuse me?

Handsome man in bar: How about dinner at my place?
Pretty girl at bar: No thanks, I would rather go home with some fat bastard.

? ? ?

Father to his college daughter: So what do you do when you're not studying?
Daughter: I snuggle up in my bed with a fat bastard.


I know the times are a-changing, but have I been out of the loop that long? It's been a while since I have been a part of the dating scene, but surely things haven't changed that much.
....Women now prefer fat men? They don't want hunks? They want fat ... bastards no less? You mean to tell me that all of these years I've been trying to stay slim and in shape - for nothing?

Disclaimer A!

The conversations above are actually lines from a commercial. It turns out I have been out of the loop more that I realized. I have not kept up with the recent trends in the field of libations. How was I supposed to know that there is actually a line of wines called ... Fat Bastard?

They are even selling shirts and baseball caps bearing the product's name! Can you believe it? The logo is a hippopotamus no less.

Disclaimer B!

Okay, so I haven't managed to keep my body in shape! I can take solace in the fact that I'm not a fat bastard though.

I have to admit that until I heard these commercials on the radio today, I had never heard of Fat Bastard Wines. I toured their website, here , and sure enough it's a legitimate winery.

So ladies, I apologize for implying you like your men to be fat bastards. Now I know that if you tell me you are staying home with the fat bastard, you're talking about a bottle of wine.

Sign me: An out of the loop skinny bastard.



wazza said...

Ho! Ho! Ho! (no I'm not having a "go" at Santa). I'm not a fat bastard either (altho' Peter at Holtieshouse
could argue that point, but that's because he claims he's smaller than I am....and he is if you look thru' the
big end of a telescope).

Peter said...

Hi Mike, you wouldn't believe you could travel to the other side of the world and still come up with the sort of rubish that Wazza spouts, when it comes to the product of a certain soon to be famous winery I know where they can find their perfect mascot, he's at Wazza-ville.
He would loose the small end of that telescope in the folds of fat around his face. G'day mate.

Miss Cellania said...

Fat Bastard is my best buddy's favorite wine. She LOVES to talk about it, but swears that she really likes the taste. See, I had accused her of only buying it so she could talk about it!

jules said...

I personally prefer a wine that doesn't talk back, and anything named Fat Bastard would be suspect to me. But in my case I need a wine called Bad Date. Where have you been? With my Bad Date.

Karen said...

now I have a legitimate excuse to *wine* about Fat Bastards!

kenju said...

I bought a bottle of Fat Bastard wine about 5-6 years ago, because I couldn't believe the name!!

Cheri said...

And it works! What an ingenious way to get your wine noticed. Gotta love marketing, chances are the winery would have been closed years ago if it was called a name that would be expected. you always find the winners!