Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Tis the Season To Rant

Fog comes on little cat feet.
It sits looking over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on. -Carl Sanburg

Christmas comes on big trucks.
It sits looming over counter and shelf
in bustling stores
and lingers for months. - Hale McKay

When the October shelf space for Halloween displays are reduced to make room for the Christmas paraphernalia, I can't help but ask myself, "Am I the only one who realizes that the latter holiday is almost two months away?"
....Of course, I'm not the only one. I know that. Then, to add insult to injury to my sense of a perfect world, there were houses already decked out in Christmas regalia -in October! While I am no Scrooge, is it any wonder that by the time the first of December rolls around, that I finding myself spreading cheer with such epithets as "Merry Friggin' Christmas?"

Although this early capitalistic free enterprise force feeding of goods sticks in my craw, it falls to a distant second place to a carcinogenic evil of pandemic proportions. The previous sentence was a verbose way of fighting back against this threat. But first, allow me to say this:
! Tis the season!
I don't care who the f**k you are or where the f**k you came from, under no circumstances do you have the right to deny me one iota of my freedom of speech or expression. It offends you because you don't worship or believe in Jesus Christ? You have the same rights as I to believe and practice your own religion, but not at the expense of others.
....You've taken away prayer in our schools. You've taken away the Pledge of Allegiance. You've maliciously tried to have "In God We Trust" removed from our currency. What more do you want?

You want what? You want me to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas ?" To put things in perspective, why don't we change the name of the state of Alabama? Why don't we find another name for apple pie a la mode? Those are sure to offend someone, don't you think? Who wants a state or dessert that contains the phonetic sound of "Allah ?" Does anyone else see the folly of all this falderal?

You've denied us the Nativity scene on public properties. You want it removed from private properties also. Nyah-nyah-nyah! You didn't get that one, assholes, did you?
....Well, I'm not about to stoop to your level - to that of whale shit which lies on the bottom of the ocean - and attack your Gods or religions. However, with all the crap you've been shoveling, I'd be perfectly within my rights to do so.
....I have just one more thing to say on this matter, and you can put it in your pipe and smoke it:

Hopefully on this sensitive subject, this will be the end-all to end all !



Margaret said...

And so say all of us!!!! Well done!!!
Cheers Margaret

Peter said...

The list of folks who feel this way and want to claim back our right to live our lives as we choose instead of being dictated to by minorities is growing every day Mike.

jules said...

Merry Christmas, Mikey.

Anonymous said...

Mike, right on.

Michelle said...

AMen to that!!! Great post!

Merry Christmas!!!

Serena said...

Absolutely right on!

Nankin said...

Did you here about the group of animal rights activist who wanted to force some town in PA (I think it was) to change their name from Hamburger to Veggieburger? These are the same idiots who are so afraid of offending everybody in the world except Christians.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Well said! It's time to draw a line in the sand!

Umm..or the snow.

MIA said...

OMG I was just talking about this today! my daughters school will not allow Christmas songs to be sung at the yearly sing along. Here's the kicker, they have a Kwanza song sung to the tune of O Christmas Tree.... JEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ WTF!!!!!!

Hello Betty said...

Crap... I can't believe that there is less then a month until Christmas. Time flies by fast.

Christina said...

Great post. Why can't everyone just worship their own God, celebrate their own holidays, etc. and NOT get offended when others do the same?

Miss Cellania said...

Oh come on, Mike! Has anyone ever taken offense to you personally wishing them a Merry Christmas? That only happens in press releases and blogs. I have never known of an actual documented case where anyone ever took personal offense at anyone wishing them a friendly holiday greeting of any kind (though I believe someone with an agenda might stage it sometime).

Who is it that wants to ban religious displays on private property?

But I love you and your poetry, and I'm going to borrow your cats. Merry Christmas and Happy all-those-other-holidays!

Hale McKay said...

Me personally? No, Miss C. But there are several retail stores that last year( and will continue the practice this year) have instructed their employees not to say "Merry Christmas" to customers, but instead to say "Happy Holidays."
...They also have no signs showing "M.C." because someone will be offended. They don't sell "Christmas trees," but Holiday Trees.