Sunday, June 24, 2007

Double Entendres

Double-Entendres on British TV & Radio.

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoria from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

2 . New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother”

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

5.* US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7.** A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" (Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!)

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it himself.
* Many years ago Johnny Carson had Arnold Palmer's wife on as a guest. He asked her if she ever did anything special for Arnie for good luck on the day of a tournament. She replied that she kisses his balls for good luck.
....I know because I was watching that night.
I'm guessing that this double entendre did not actually take place on a British broadcast, but was added to this list.
** This was a real incident in the news this past winter somewhere in the Midwestern United States on the evening news.
Again, I think this was added to the list to fit with the theme.


Jack K. said...

As usual, you have come up with some very witty sayings.

With the amount of information you post almost daily, where do you find the time to work with the older citizens on your job? tee hee, snerx.

Serena said...

Double entendres are so much fun. And to think they often start out so innocently. LMAO!

Cheri said...

I had heard about the 8 inches recently.....

I will be good and not comment further...LOL

the link you left on my blog didn't work....send it again