Monday, October 15, 2007

Some More of Earl's Pearls

FOR MEN ONLY

I found this really neat game for men only. Fellas it is probably the greatest game ever designed to improve your concentration. You gotta give it a shot!

Ladies, DO NOT click on the link - it is for MEN ONLY!

GUYS ONLY click on CONCENTRATION for a one-of-a-kind mind exercise. Men, make sure your Significant Other doesn't see this.

AHA! I see that some of you gals went ahead and clicked on the link, didn't you?

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These Boots Are Made For Gawking

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, were vacationing in California. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.

He walks into the house and says to his wife: "Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looks him over, "Nope."

Frustrated Bert storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots.

Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

Margaret looks up and says, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Bert yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

"Nope," she replies.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!"

Margaret replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Ya shoulda bought a hat."

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Getting Things Straight

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"

"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped "it" to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show".

"Sensible" says Jeff.

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, sexiest, dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?"

"I kicked her in the face."
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School Lesson

Little Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother about her day.

"Frank Brown showed me his willy today!"

Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut"

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mum asked, "Really small was it?"

Sally replied, "No...salty!"
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(A tip of the hat to my buddy Earl for this collection of humor.)

No.1139

2 comments:

Rain said...

You knew I was going to click that link, LOL. I found the red ball on my second try. :0}

OMG the redneck birth control picture, ROFLMAO!

Christina said...

LOL! Especially @ redneck birth control and the duct tape joke.