Saturday, October 20, 2007

This Looks Like a Good Place For a Pick-up

Having trouble getting dates? Tired of going home alone? As a public service, here are some pick-up lines guaranteed to get results!*

Are you a gardener? 'Cos I want to put your tulips and my 2 lips together.

Are you a surgeon? Cause you just took my heart away.

Are your pants from outer space? Cause your butt is out of this world.

Are your parents retarded? 'cause you sure are special.

Be unique, say yes.

Can I borrow your phone number? I seemed to have lost mine.

Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

Did you fart? Cause you just blew me away.

Do you have a library card? 'Cause I'd like to check you out.

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!

Excuse me but I think I dropped something...My jaw!

Girl are you tired? Coz you've been running through my mind all day.

Hey baby, you must be a sweater, 'cos you got me feeling warm all over.

Hey do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cos you're really good at raising cocks.

I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me?

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as this one?

If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

If you were a booger I would pick you first.

I'm new in town could I have directions to your house?

Is that dress felt ? Would you like it to be?

Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

Is your dad a terrorist? Coz you da bomb!

Its not my fault I fell in love. You tripped me.

Lets play battleship. I'll show you my destroyer.

Lets play house, you be the screen door and I'll bang you all night long.

Lets play Pearl Harbor, I lay down and you blow me to heaven.

Mind if I stand here until its safe where I farted?

My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in.

Nice legs, what time do they open?

Sex is like Pringles: Once you pop you just can't stop.

The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my crib and spread the word.

We better get you out of those wet clothes.

Would you like to Austrailian kiss. Its like French Kissing but Down Under.

You know, Im not wearing any pants.

You remind me of my Grandma except I haven't slept with you yet.

You're last name should be Campbells, cus your mmmm... GOOD

You're like a prize large-mouth bass... I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.

You've been naughty. Go to my room.

You're like milk. I want to make you part of my complete breakfast.

*Hey, I didn't say they would have "positive" results!



abcd said...

oh god!! have you tried it yourself before?

Raggedy said...

Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Badabing said...

Man...where were those lines when I was young and single?...and quick enough to duck a punch.