Thursday, February 07, 2008

I Took the Dare!

(I received an e-mail from my wife containing the following. I think she was trying to tell me something! You think?)


Photo Sharing
No man is worth crying over. And the one who is won't make you cry.


I used to care, but now I take a pill for that.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

I don't have hot flashes. I have short private vacations in the tropics.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

It's been lovely, but I have to scream now!


Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.

It took a lot of will power, but I finally gave up dieting.

I gave up jogging because my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.


If only men were as satisfying as chocolate.

Because chocolate can't get you pregnant.

If I ever need religion, I'll worship chocolate cake.

When I say the word "Exercise," I wash my mouth out with chocolate.


Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of. - Kathy Lette

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. - Anonymous

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she is. I don't think it works like that. I think it's just the opposite. I think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent the man becomes. - Anita Wise

I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself. - Yoko Ono



My wife asked me if I was going to put the e-mail she sent to me on my blog. I said "Yes, in fact I already did."

She said, "What? You really did? I was only joking!"

"But honey, you dared me!"

(~sigh~)..You can't live with them .. You can't live without them .. Never mind pleasing them!

I guess I'd better plan something romantic ...

Like a night out dancing...

..And later at home ..

..Some tender intimate moments.



Skunkfeathers said...

LOL...I heard 'em all from my ex-fiancee. Note I said "ex" fiancee. Yeah, I know...perhaps she was kidding.

Trust me...she wasn't ;)

OldHorsetailSnake said...

What is this "delicate, long thing" hanging on my body? She talking about my junk, my Johnson, or what. Sometimes them foreign babes are tough to make.


Jack K. said...

When reading the comment about large breasts, I was reminded of the following"

"More than a mouthful is..."

Oh, shit, I just had a senior moment. I can't remember the rest of it.

Waaaah, waaah, waaaa!

Wait, I think the rest was:

"sinful." Maybe not.


Jude Allen said...

lol, great post point. Women; you cant live with 'em,...and you just can't live with 'em.

Liquid said...

Air plane glue anyone?

te he te he te he...........

This is fabulous!

Hale McKay said...


I believe that if couples used airplane glue, relationships would last longer. Talk about bonding!

Hale McKay said...


You'll remember these then when the "next" fiance' comes along.

Hale McKay said...


You too?

Hale McKay said...


At least you did say a 'mouthful.'

Hale McKay said...


I won't conjecture if yours is delicate, long, or hanging for that matter.