Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Does Not Compute!

Right or wrong? Smart or stupid?

To keep it in the proper perspective, one must determine if you are Tech Support or the customer. If I was placing a bet I'd put my money on those who work as in Tech Support as the right and smart. Thus the customer bears the colors of wrong and stupid. There are some exceptions, but I'm not going there with this post.
A Tech went to the Post Office to ship a package of software to a customer. Since it was expensive software he decided to insure the package.

P.O. Worker : "What are you shipping?"
Computer Tech : "Software"
P.O. Worker : "You mean, like, pajamas?"
Tech : On phone to customer, "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Cust : "Wow! How can see my screen from there?"
Tech : "What type of computer do you have?"
Cust : "I don't know I just bought it."
Tech : "What kind of Mac of you have?"
Cust : "The kind that sits on the desk .. not one of those newer ones."
Tech : "How fast is your modem?"
Cust : "Not very. It just sits there. I've never seen it move."
Cust : "How do I print my voice mail?"
Tech : "I need you to boot the computer."
Cust : (THUMP! Pause.) "No. That didn't help."
Tech : "Do you have any Windows open right now?"
Cust : "Are you crazy? It's twenty below outside."
E-mail received : "By the way, what does BTW mean?"
A customer, although of no consequence, a blonde, walked into a Computer Center:

Cust : "I'm having problems with my Mac."
Tech : "What kind of Mac do you have?"
Cust : In an indignant voice, "Duh, Intosh!"
Thread on a message board on a website:

1st poster : "Any Hotmail experts willing to make a Harry Potter layout for my website?"
2nd poster : "Hotmail experts? Don't you mean HTML?"
1st poster : "Same thing isn't it?"
Cust : "I'd like to complain about the screensaver on my computer."
Tech : "What seems to be the problem?"
Cust : "It doesn't work."
Tech : "Ok. What's on your screen now?"
Cust : "Nothing. It's broken."
Tech : "Broken?"
Cust : "Yes. The screensaver didn't work."
Tech : "Of course it wouldn't work if your monitor screen is broken."
Cust : "Look! We had a break in at our house. They vandalized the place and smashed the screen with something."
Tech : "I'm sorry you were broken into, sir, but a screensaver won't work on a broken screen."
Cust : Angry now, "If the screensaver did what it's supposed to do, then my screen would not have broken. When they hit it, it didn't save my screen."

~~The above customer-tech exchanges and many, many more can be found at Rinkworks.

(~~The last piece about the screensaver is an original that I made up just for this post. I suppose it could have happened and maybe did happen, but I have never seen it or one like it.)



Skunkfeathers said...

Yawp...iffen I ever contacted them thar TekSupporters, ah'd be one of them thar custoadmers, shore 'nuff.

Tech Support: What's the problem?
Me: high taxes, gas, government incompetence, liberals, et al...
Tech Support: I mean, with your computer?
Me: Oh, the problem with that is the operator...

Hale McKay said...

LOL Skunk.

Ain't it the truth? I think all of us has been a customer like those mentioned - well, almost like them anyway.

Miss Cellania said...

Oh wow! A guy sent me that last joke just yesterday! Now I know where he got it.

My next tech post will have this one linked.

Hale McKay said...

Miss C.

Oh? Wow, thanks for that.