Friday, April 21, 2006

Hu's On First?

One day at the White House:

Receptionist: Mr. President, Hu is here to see you.
George Bush: I don't know. You're the receptionist.
Rcpt: Pardon?
Bush: What? Oh yes, I am Listening to Dolly Parton on my iPod.
Rcpt: O...Kay! Your 10 am appointment is here, sir.
Bush: Who?
Rcpt: Yes.
Bush: (Blank stare) Who is my first appointment?
Rcpt: Yes, he is.
Bush: Look, is my first appointment here?
Rcpt: Yes, Sir. He's in the lobby.
Bush: ...And who is it?
Rcpt: Yes, Sir.
Bush: Why can't you just tell me who's out there?
Rcpt: That's what I've been trying to tell you, Mr. President.
Bush: You've been trying to tell me who's out there?
Rcpt: Yes, I have.
Bush: So tell me already!
Rcpt: Hu!
Bush: You! Is there anyone else here?
Rcpt: No, Sir. He's alone.
Bush: Who is alone?
Rcpt: Yes. There's no one with him.
Bush: There's no one with who?
Rcpt: Whom, Sir.
Bush: Uh ... Okay. Whom's with him?
Rcpt: Who, Sir.
Bush: Tell me, what's on the list for the name of my first appointment?
Rcpt: Oh no, Sir. Watson's the second appointment. Hu's first.
Bush: Why are you bringing up the second appointment?
Rcpt: You mentioned his name, Mr. President.
Bush: Who's name?
Rcpt: No Sir.
Bush: (Blank Stare) Look, you have a list of names there of my appointments for the day ... Right?
Rcpt: Yes, of course, Mr. President.
Bush: Now if I were to tell you to send in the first person on that list, who would come in first?
Rcpt: That's correct.
Bush: So, what's on the list for his name?
Rcpt: Watson's on second. Hu's on first.
Bush: I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.
Rcpt: ...And I told you, Hu's just outside the door, Sir!
Bush: Who's here?
Rcpt: Yes! He's been waiting twenty minutes now.
Bush: Who is waiting?
Rcpt: (Sigh) Yes, he is.
Bush: Let's try something else. Most people come here to my office looking for funds. Am I right?
Rcpt: That's right, Mr. President.
Bush: Let's suppose that my 10 o'clock appointment out there in the lobby convinces me to allocate his funds. I will make the check payable to ... Who?
Rcpt: Yes.
Bush: I mean, who gets the money?
Rcpt: Correct, Sir ... Every dollar!
Bush: Why at this time everyday, do I get a headache?
Rcpt: Wyatt is the third one, Mr. President.
Bush: Huh? We're on the third appointment now? I still haven't the seen the first one. What's on the list for them?
Rcpt: No, Watson's on second.
Bush: How come you're talking about the second one again?
Rcpt: You said his name again.
Bush: Who's name?
Rcpt: No, not his name. Watson's name.
Bush: Let me guess ... Who's on first?
Rcpt: Yes! You finally got it right, Sir!
Bush: I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about!
Rcpt: Oh no, he's not here until tomorrow!
Bush: (Considers reaching for the pistol in the top drawer)



Peter said...

Well done Abbott, or is Costello on first?

poopie said...

So frightening it's funny!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

That's undoubtedly how it all worked out, come to think of it. Nicely done, Hale.

Ivy the Goober said...

Oh, I love it!

I'm not even supposed to be here today said...

There's an impeach bush board game out now. My husband immediately put it on his christmas list!

TMelendez said...

Since im the DECIDER in chief..
"youre doing a heck of a job ashley"! I mean 'dealing with all of you is not easy'.


Chris said...

It's always great to see classic comedy reworked to fit our modern time. Great laugh. Thanks.

Chris (My Blog)