Monday, December 24, 2007

Proof Santa Stopped at Your House

How To Tell If Santa Has Been Naughty or Nice.

Soot has been tracked all over your wife's brand new $1500 carpet.

You leave him milk and cookies ... and he eats the last drumstick and drinks your last beer!

The refrigerator door was left open.

The lock to the liquor cabinet has been picked.

The living room smells like a brewery.

Your teenage daughter's underwear drawer has been rifled.

One of your Playboy magazines (open to the centerfold) is on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet.

The toilet wasn't flushed and the seat was left in the up position.

Outlined in yellow, "Ho-Ho-Ho" was traced into the snow in your front yard.

Your mother-in-law comes out of the guest bedroom with a silly smile and muttering "He doesn't call ... He doesn't write ..."

Half of the bricks of your chimney are scattered in your back yard.

A pay-for-view XXX adult movie shows up on your cable bill for 3:30 AM on 12/25.

For 12/25 a $75 phone call on your next bill is to one of those 1-900 Phone Sex numbers.

In the spring you find that your clogged gutters and downspouts are the result of reindeer droppings.

The following September your unwed teenage daughter names her son Nicholas.


1 comment:

Scary Monster said...

Stompy Christmas, me freind.
Hope alla ya dreams come true!

Scary Monster.

Me goin out to nibble onna reindeer, yeah!