Elephants Never Forget

What GOOGLE™ gives, GOOGLE™ taketh away!

Hey Blogroll buddies, are you aware that your URLs don't exist? That's what GOOGLE™ was telling me. Who am I to question GOOGLE™?

Let's see, I still cannot add anymore pictures or URLs to my sidebar. Lest I make an "ass of you and me," I will not assume that the problem is being worked on by the Blogger™ Gods. I will take a leap of faith, however, that there are others who are experiencing this same problem.

Eventually, everyone will be using the new Beta Blogger. Presumably all the bugs will be worked out by then. I guess that makes those of who have already taken the plunge, sacrificial lambs!

On the subject of non-existent Blogs: from another computer I tried to visit my site and was promptly "told" that that URL could not be found. It's alarming to say the least, to discover that your hard work was for naught.

I have a theory about what is happening. No, it's not UFOs, Big Foot, or the Loch Ness Monster. It has nothing to do with global warming or holes in the Ozone Layer. No terrorist group is responsible.

We need look no farther than 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. That's right, it starts at the top! Unless you have been on a deserted isle or in a coma, you must be aware that there are many political jobs up for grabs between now and November of 2008. Whether it be the local yokels running for mayorial seats or governorships, or the rich elite with their own agendas vying for the Senate or Congress, the countless political signs and rhetoric will be soon littering and polluting our senses.

It won't be long before Dubya himself is out there touting the virtues of some clone of himself to take his place. Instead of trying to clean up the mess he has made of the world, he'll be out there sweeping it under the rug. While he was concentrating on imaginary WMDs, he paid little attention to the developing nuclear capabilities of Korea and Iran.

Of course, he paid no attention to them largely in part because he could not even pronounce nuclear. As far as he was concerned, the war on terrorism began and will end in Iraq and Afghanistan. We got Sadam, thus Iran is no longer a major problem. He fails to see that one day "another" Sadam will rise to power. He should know, after all we got rid of one Bush only to get stuck with another.

What has all this got to do with the recent GOOGLE™ gliches, you ask? Well, because of the "War on Terror" we are being watched. Our telephone calls, our e-mail, and even our Blogs are being monitored.

I live in constant fear everyday. Surely someday AARP, the BSA, the NAACP, the NFL, or some other powerful group is going to come down hard on me for some of the content of my Blogs. I even shudder that some insignificant organizations like the Secret Service, the FBI or even the CIA may even be reading my Blogs.

So heavy is the traffic caused by their prying eyes, that the servors of the Internet every where are getting over-taxed. Ah, the Republican party is smug, but also desperate. Screw the little fleas out there and their Blogs! Long live The Party!

Have you ever wondered about that sometimes enigmatic grin that curls Dubya's lip? It sort of reminds me of that shit-eating grin on the face of the Mona Lisa. He's looking at us common folks as an elephant would regard a flea on its testicles! Why does an elephant lick its balls?
....Two answers: 1) because he can; and 2) because he can't make a fist!

There's something else an elephant can do, and it's a trait shared by the President and his constituents. Do you want to know the secret of Dubya's sneaky grin? Guys, if you could this, you'd have a grin on your face too!

Are you sure you really want to know?

Scroll down for the secret.

Are you sure you want to know?

Do you really want to see this?

Are you prepared to see what Bush and his Republican pals can do ....

.... That you cannot do?

It's not too late. You can stop here now.

Too Late!

How does one keep a smug look on their face?

An elephant never forgets!

No.733

Truth in Advertising

Caveat emptor!
Let the buyer beware! What you see is what you get. If it tastes like chicken, it's probably fish! The check's in the mail.

"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." - Dick Cavett

Caveat blogum!
Let the Blogger beware! Promises were made ....

After I have been touting the virtues of the new Beta Blogger's features, the two I liked the most are not functioning.
....I wanted to add some elements to my sidebar using pictures and URLs, but since Saturday evening these two features have been unavailable.

Cave cibum, valde malus est!
Beware the food, it is very bad! A certain burger chain advertises that it's burgers contain 100% beef. This is true - the beef in them are all beef. The soy by-products are 100% soy too! Ever notice that they no longer say "all beef" patties? They got bagged!
....Now if only someone would bitch-slap them for their food not even remotely resembling the pictures on the menu boards. I knew they had burger flippers, fryalator technicians, and salad washers, but burger squashers too?

Nihil sub sole novum!
There's nothing new under the sun!

Sic friatur crustum dulce!
That's the way the cookie crumbles!

Non gradus anus rodentum!
It's not worth a rat's ass!

Nunc est bibendum!
It's time for a drink!

This Latin lesson has been brought to you by makers of the Big Mac, Beta Blogger, and the nearest cold beer you can find!

No.731

If a Degree Falls In a Forest...

...Does it make a sound?

Okay ... Now that I've graduated to Beta Blogger, what now? This Diploma and a dollar bill won't even get me a cup of coffee.

Well, it does cover the hole in the plaster wall, formed as a result of a not-so-irresistible force, my fist, meeting a very immovable wall; that experiment a by-product of the transition to a new and improved Blogger.

Now I can hold my head high, despite the concussion suffered when making an even larger hole in another spot on the wall. Injured hand and head aside, I have survived the ordeal. Truth be told, the process was actually ... easy!

There were some bumps in the road, but none that weren't easily overcome. I was and am very impressed with the ease of working with the Sidebar now. I used to dread adding new site links and Blogs to my Blogroll. Don't you just hate having to worry about all those misplaced or omitted key board characters? A missing colon, back slash, or quotation mark made adding URLs a chore, all the while my coffee was turning cold.

When the rest of you make the switch, and you will have to eventually, it's not as bad as my opening paragraphs make it out to be. You can't go wrong by paying Peter a visit. He has an excellent post on the switch that is both detailed and informative, even for the "geek-challenged" hack like myself.

Look at it this way, if that Mike, Hale, Pointmeister, or what ever persona du jour he's using can do it - so can you!

If you find yourself in a bind, no matter how hopeless it seems, just hang in there! When in doubt - SAVE!

For me, Beta Blogger is sort of like a new toy. You will probably see something different on this site nearly every day for awhile. My previous sidebar was dull and boring, hardly worth more than a glance by visitors. With just a simple click and drag, I can rearrange it at will. I can as easily add images and text anywhere on the sidebar as I can remove them - all without plowing through some cumbersome HTML codes.

However, I have found a desire for the ability to use raw HTML coding, which is currently not available. On this particular template, I don't like some of the fonts used. I didn't find the 'day and date' to my liking. It's too large and takes away from the title of the post, hence I changed the color to a very pale green. The titles of my sidebar elements also are too large and only in lower case letters. These will be changed post-haste when HTML access is available.

I realize this is probably boring to most of you, so I'll just let my layout speak for itself.

Now for something special for a special Blogger friend, Jules, who wants to know "Where's the pictures, and I don't mean cartoons?" I sometimes forget that there is a certain segment of the Blogosphere that relishes juicy adult material. What can be more juicy than this pair?

Did you know that another special Blogger is about to become a radio star? She who impressed us with a wonderful 24-hour stint on the recent Blogathon, she who can bitch with the best of them, is about to hit the air waves. Go knock on Monty's door for the details. (You can see how good of a kisser she is!)

I think Monty Unexpurgated (How's that for a title, Monty?) will be a treat for all listeners. Reckon that now that she's hit the big time, she'll remember from where she came? Will she give out autographs? I wonder if she'll sign my BVDs?

No.730

Seeing What Will Stick

Blogger At Work!

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Thanks Peter ! I saw that note about saving the sidebar data, but I jumped first! I'm figuring it out, one step keystroke at a time. I was able to retrieve my visitors counter.

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Actually, I like the challenge of trying to figure out this Beta Blogger.

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So to everyone who is contemplating making the change, take Peter's advice and save any elements of your sidebar that you want on your new Blog.

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Well, back to rebuilding my Blog Roll! Maybe this time, I'll hit the fan!

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A normal post, at least what I usually put up here, will be published tomorrow. (I hope.)

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No.726

Change Is Good?

Sometimes you just need to step back and take a good look at yourself.

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It wasn't exactly an epiphany, but I thought, "Hey, I need a new look!"

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Comments from some readers complaining about that "sea of blue" were not lost on me. Many of you were having difficulty reading all or part of some of my postings. So I said to myself, "Self, we just cannot have that, can we?"

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I had been following the Blogger News about their new Beta Blogger that was being launched. One bit of information that caught my attention was that eventually all Blogs will be converted to the new system.

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I had put off changing my template in the past because of all of the things that would be lost in the transition. Call me lazy, if you wish, but I wasn't looking forward to rebuilding my Blog Roll and Site Links. Blogger has given me a kick in the pants! If a change was inevitable, then I felt I should get my butt in gear and do it now!

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There are some definite differences. One that I just discovered while preparing this post was a new and improved Spell Checker. Be still your hearts out there, this Spell checker actually recognizes the words "Blog" and "Blogger!" Also, it is very fast! Publishing and Saving as Drafts is faster too. You know that clock thingy, which I call 'the ring of death,' you see when you click Publish? It's gone!

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For the present, access to HTML coding isn't available, so I cannot figure out how to place a Visitor's Counter here yet. Some of the things I had on my previous Sidebar will be missing for a while until HTML access is available. (I miss my scrolling marquees.)

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Please don't be offended or alarmed if you don't see your name on my Blog Roll. I'll be adding them all back - slowly but surely. It'll be a learning process all over again. Invaribly, you'll probly see more and more additions during your subsequent visits here. I guess you could say that this Site is currently "under construction."

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The changes might be small and subtle at first. You might have to take a real close look to spot them. Thankfully, posting pictures is till easy. What would my Blog be without pictures and cartoons anyway?

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That's all for now. I'm off to start working on the additions I want.

Thank you in advance for your patience.

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No.725